Thank you show for giving us a whole episode with Eileen!

And then, Jensen sings with Christian Kane!!

The whole thing was very entertaining, even though Sam and Dean were apart the whole time.

THEN

Dean and Castiel broke up. Sam and Chuck both have gunshot wounds.

NOW

Really drunk girl’s friend disappears while she’s puking her guts out. Her car too! The friend ends up tied to a chair, a line running from her arm to a caged monster, who’s drinking her blood.

In the bunker, Dean is drinking beers in his room, looking for anything on the internet, scrolling through the stories on his favorite site, Weird World News. He finally finds a (maybe) case, and wanders into the kitchen as Eileen and Sam are cooking a hangover breakfast. Dean turns down the food, and leaves, telling Sam he just needs to take a drive and clear his head. Sammy denies anything is going on between him and Eileen.

Oh boys. Would they be Sam and Dean if they weren’t lying to each other?

I am gonna mention how much I love how Sam is signing with Eileen, and the casualness of it. It makes the whole thing feel normal and I love it.

Dean ends up in Texas. SHORT DRIVE FROM KANSAS.

(Okay, I google mapped this, and it seems that this part of Texas is closer to Kansas than I thought, and Dean probably could have made it in 3-4 hours, which actually is an easy drive for Dean)

The failed-actor sheriff of the town tells Dean about Swayze’s bar, and tells Dean he could be a star!

This whole scene is bonkers, and made me shake my head, and then they top it off with the bar being called Swayze’s? Fantastic!!

That night Dean rolls up to Swayze’s to the sound of Christian Kane singing. He plays the owner of the bar, Lee, and is the lead singer of the house band. (Christian Kane is a long time friend of Jensen, and the house band is actual SPN crew members who have a band called The Impalas. It’s all very incestuous, in the very best of ways) Dean is required to hand over his cell to the flirty hostess, and realizes that he knows the handsome dude singing on stage!

These two boys know each other from back in the day. Hunting together when Sam was back in college, oh so many years ago.

Eileen and Sam are hitting the books, looking for any sign of Chuck, when Eileen makes her move! Sam is confused at first, and much like me, needs a hammer to the head to realize someone is into him. Eileen takes his hand, and Sam leans in for a kiss, when the bunker door creaks open, and Castiel interrupts the mood! Castiel!!

Cass mentions that angel radio has been silent for months (so many things wrong with Heaven, and angels, and everyone is just kind of shrugging it off), and Castiel surmises that because of their shared God wound, some of Sam might be in Chuck.

Eileen: “Ew.”

Dean and Lee catch up over beers, and when did this show get so freaking sentimental?

LOVE IT

Castiel wants to probe Sam’s wound. Ew. Even though its dangerous, Sam says have at it, because Sam is a boss.

Cass brings the angelic light show, and Sam winces as our sweetest little angel pushes deeper into the God wound. There is a sudden shock, the rebound of power sending Sam flying into the air, and after crashing into the wall of the infirmary, ends up on his back, out cold.

Castiel tries calling Dean, but Dean’s cell phone is in a basket in a Texas bar. Cass grumpily hangs up when he gets voicemail.

The hostess of Swayze’s joins Dean and Lee, and now the trio are doing shots. This is the kind of night Dean seems to really need.

In a terrible move, Castiel calls Sergei. He not only tells Sergei what’s going on, but invites him to the bunker to to try and help.

THIS IS A VERY BAD IDEA

More reminiscing, and Dean shares with Lee the reason he’s in town. Also a bad idea, but not as bad an idea as calling Sergei, Cass.

Lee tries to talk Dean into retiring after hearing about the ghost sickness episode, and then Lee drags a shy Dean on stage to sing.

AND THEN THEY SING “GOOD OL’ BOYS” TOGETHER

There is so much to say, but I am a Dean girl, and I am just gonna enjoy this for a minute.

Once the boys are done singing, drunk girl shows and is being harassed by a couple of good ole boys. Dean and Lee gleefully kick the asses of the jerks, and then Dean realizes the drunk girl is the friend of the person he has been looking for.

Sergei shows at the bunker, and marvels at all the things that must be housed there. Cass gives him the stink eye, and brings him to Sam. The Russian pulls a magic crystal from his satchel, passes it over Sam’s wound, and proclaims that he is dying.

Drunk girl tells Dean what happened the night her friend was ‘raptured’, Lee trying to thwart things every step of the way. Drunk girl spikes her coffee while Lee volunteers to help Dean with the hunt. Deciding to try and find the missing girl’s car, Lee tries to steer Dean to the lake, but Hostess lady offers the junk yard, much to Lee’s dismay. Dean says he’ll take the junk yard, and tells Lee to take the lake.

Sergei tells Cass and Eileen that the wound goes down to Sammy’s soul, stretching out to someone, or somewhere else, and if it keeps stretching, it will snap and kill him.

Sam’s soul has been through a lot, so let’s try and fix this, shall we??????

Dean finds the missing girls car at the junk yard, and then finds her, dead in the trunk. A gun gets cocked, and there’s Lee, who’s followed Dean and then clocks him on the noggin.

Sergei puts some paste on Sam’s wound, and Sam begins convulsing, images of Amara talking to Chuck flashing through his head. Sergei says he made it worse, and blackmails Castiel for the key to Death. He wants this item to get into Death’s library, which will probably come in handy later in the season for our boys, but not for this guy!

Seems as though Cass has Sergei’s niece under surveillance via Bobby, and threatens her life if he doesn’t fix Sam. Sergei ‘fixes’ Sam, and then leaves.

As y’all know, I loves me some badass Castiel. Well remembered, show!

Dean wakes up tied to a chair in the basement of the bar. He’s hooked up to the same rig as the first girl. Lee enters, and tells Dean all about the monster he has locked up. Lee has become a nihilist it seems, and after what he saw in Arizona all those years ago, he’s interested in getting what he deserves out of life. As long as he keeps the monster fed, he is rewarded with money and health. He hates it had to be Dean, but Lee says he has no choice!

Once Lee leaves, Dean rocks in his chair and breaks free as the monster rattles its cage.

Lee is cleaning up the bar and hears the monster roaring downstairs He pulls his gun, the door opens, and the monster’s head rolls out. Dean fills the doorway and apologizes for killing his meal ticket. Dean and Lee have a shootout, and when both run out of ammo, they decide to fight it out.

Lee doesn’t want to. Neither does Dean.

We finally get the fight scene between Dean and Lee that we were all waiting for! Its brutal and heartbreaking. Why do you care so much Dean? Because someone has too. Dean guts his friend and that’s the end of Lee!

Dean arrives back at the bunker, and he and Castiel are super awkward. Dean rolls his eyes as Castiel is all business, and really Dean, Castiel gets to be a little pissy after what you said to him!

Sam realizes that he’s really connected to Chuck, having seen several flashes of what seems to be running through Chuck’s mind. Sam feels like Chuck is weak, and he’s sure they can beat him.

Well! Sam finally realizes what we all knew, that he’s connected to Chuck, and this will probably help them fight him, and Dean gets a heartbreaking lesson that helps him reassert why he does what he does. Now all we need is Dean and Castiel to make up, and we can get on with things!

NEXT

ADAM!!!!!!