TV Tyrant

Really?

Gwen’s first day on the job is a hunt for a sex-crazed alien who absorbs its partner just at the moment of climax?

How many times, exactly, did they have to show the scene where Carys had sex with the poor schmo in the bathroom of that club? After, maybe, the second time, it was kind of like, “Yeah, I’ve got the gist of it.”

That said, Captain Jack’s quip that the boy just “came and went” made me laugh out loud. As did the moment when Captain Jack tells the delivery guy to “put your trousers on and get out” and then observes, “It almost breaks my heart to say those words.”

Captain Jack does love the ladies. And gents. And, probably, aliens. He just loves. As Toshiko observes in this episode, “I’ve watched him in action, he’ll shag anything if it’s gorgeous enough.”

So, anyway, the episode made me think it’s a good thing there are CCTVs everywhere in the British Isles. Makes it far easier for Torchwood to do its job, I suppose.

What I found interesting about the episode, though, was that the gender of those doing the snogging seemed not to matter one little bit to anyone. And those of us who are familiar with Captain Jack knows that the gender of his partner doesn’t matter terrifically to him. A very gender-blind way of looking at life. And the show is so matter of fact about it that it isn’t a big deal.

I mean, sure, Gwen’s new coworkers are enjoying watching her and Carys get it on in the cell, but more because Gwen is such a half of a couple, the only member of the team who’s in a relationship. So her little breakdown is very amusing to them. Plus, most people find it hard to turn away from watching two people slobber all over each other.

Then there’s the little discussion at lunch about the Captain’s proclivities, and all anyone can agree on is that he’s an enigma wrapped inside a riddle that’s part of a puzzle. Basically – no one knows who he is, where he’s from and why he does what he does.

I wonder when, if ever, we’ll truly find out what’s behind Torchwood, and how far it goes back. Did Captain Jack start working with Torchwood after becoming immortal or because he was immortal? Was it alien technology that made him that way?

All the questions raised at lunchtime were great, though, because you know they’re questions on the viewers’ minds, too. It makes it clear that these are questions that, at some point, are likely to be answered. And that we’re not expected to know or understand quite yet.

I had to thank IMDB for one thing, though. I’d forgotten that Captain Jack had saved Doctor Who’s severed hand and wasn’t quite sure why he was so bound and determined to get that hand back. As we saw later on in Doctor Who, having that hand was essential to both bad guys doing bad things and for the doctor to regenerate.

Two other notes:

• Nice how a cop in Wales has no idea how to use a gun. Reminds us how different the States are, eh? But I was surprised to see so much use of guns on Torchwood, seeing as they’re virtually never used on Doctor Who. I mean, the Doctor pretty much solves all problems with his sonic screwdriver, and even though I love violent shoot-em-ups as much as … well, as much as most men who love violent shoot-em-ups, I’ve always found that endearing about Doctor Who.

• Anyone who’s had a horrible first day on the job can relate to Gwen’s problems here. Haven’t you ever done something so incredibly stupid when you’re just starting out on a job or a relationship or anything and are beyond embarrassed because you think you’ve just proved to everyone that you’re a moron?

The first-ever episode of the Doctor Who spinoff Torchwood has all the obligatory, here’s who everyone is, here’s what they do, here’s the new team member exposition.

That’s OK, though. It also gave us a pretty good story to follow.

Someone is murdering people in Cardiff. Three have been murdered in recent days, each stabbed by an unknown assailant.

The cops are stumped. The three victims don’t seem connected.

But at each murder scene, the mysterious covert ops team, Torchwood, shows up to investigate.

The cops don’t know it, but the Torchwood team doesn’t care about who committed the murders; they just want to test out the nifty new alien technology they’ve come into ownership of – a metal glove that brings the dead back to life for two minutes.

We don’t realize it at first, but get a clue to it when all Capt. Jack seems to want to know from the dead guy is what it’s like to die. Doctor Who fans are well aware that the dashing captain can’t die or age. Hell, he hung on outside the Tardis as it traveled to the end of time and didn’t die. He is — at least — nearing 80, assuming he was about 18 or 19 when he was in the U.S. Army in the 1940s. Add 60 years to get to now, and that’s his minimum age.

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