TV Tyrant

24: Moooooooo

April 10th, 2009 | by | 24

Apr
10

It’s almost like a drinking game: Every time Jack exhibits mad cow-type symptoms, you have to go “moooooooo.”

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What’s that you say? Jack doesn’t have mad cow disease? Oh, whatever. Close enough. He has some sort of weird unknown, unnamed disease brought on by some sort of biological agent created for the strongman of a pretend African nation. So if we want to pretend it’s mad cow, leave us be.

The best part of Monday’s episode:

Death by decanter. When Jon Voight killed Chris Cooper with a decanter, that almost topped Jack using a forklift to kill someone the week before. Day 7 has totally turned on the creativity when it comes to killing this season, and I, for one, am quite grateful. Shooting someone in the knee is so Day 2.

The worst part:

Olivia Taylor doing a reverse blackmail of the slimy reporter. In and of itself, it wasn’t bad. In fact, it was good that she managed to blackmail him back, when he forced her to sleep with him to keep a story secret, when he had no intention of holding back the story. But the whole idea of him using sex as a weapon and then her recording it was just so … icky.

So at this point, we still have no idea who the mole is, Jack’s had a seizure from mad cow, Jonas Hodges has officially become the best villain since Nina Meyers and Tony’s as badass as ever (how many bad guys did he take out?)…

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24: Jack’s been exposed

April 3rd, 2009 | by | 24

Apr
03

First off, I have to say that Adam over at The Jack Sack summed up Monday’s episode perfectly, in this video.

I’ll wait here while you watch …

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hahahahaha. OK, that was the 24 blog equivalent of a RickRoll, except that it’s totally worth watching.

So what happened?

Jack was exposed, but the level of exposure seems unclear to me. It doesn’t seem he can infect anyone else, as he’s running around in the FBI hq and no one’s running screaming from him, so that’s a good sign, no?

Larry Moss, however, should have allowed Jack to go along with them – even an impaired Jack is worth at least a half-dozen regular, unimpaired agents.

Speaking of the raid, what a freakin’ disaster that was. Tony got pwnd by Mr. Smarmy Suit Guy, who tricked him into believing he was breaking from Hodges. So, all bureaucratic-like, the FBI used a warrant that specifically detailed the exact wrong area of the Starkwood compound and knew that the FBI would be too law-abiding to push through the Starkwood mercernary force.

Dude, Tony, you didn’t used to be so easy to manipulate.

As for Olivia, I’m still not sure if she’s the mole. Her reaction to the news about Starkwood seemed … curious. But 24′s producers have thrown us red herrings like that before. If she is a mole, however, Aaron will definitely find her out. He’s almost as badass as Jack.

Almost.

Still undecided on Janis’ mole status.

I’m trying to figure out Red Hot’s issue, though. She seems all upset about Larry, about Jack, about everything. Does she feel responsible that Jack has been exposed? Does she feel badly because Larry’s in love with her but she’s falling for Jack? Curious. She seemed so … damaged. (Don’t worry; I don’t think she’s a mole.)

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The Carnival of Bauer!!! The Bill Buchanan Memorial edition

March 13th, 2009 | by | 24, blog carnival, carnival of bauer, jack bauer

Mar
13

All across 24 fandom, people remain in mourning for a man we once disliked but came to love almost as much as Jack and Tony.

Call him a mime. Call him Chiggy Killer. Call him Billy Boy. Whatever you want to call him, do it with the flag at half-mast and hat over heart.

First off, we have Jeff Kouba with not one, but TWO glorious posts at Truth v. The Machine. In 24 Day 7 8:00 PM – 9:00 PM he recaps the hour, including the secret love Bill harbored for Chloe. And my favorite sentence of the Carnivals so far: “In the subsequent chaos, approximately 28 of the remaining 4 Africans are gunned down.” Then, he confesses he actually watches Dollhouse and noticed a horrible secret connecting it to 24, in It would explain a lot.

Adam gets all mystical and ponders who or what Bill might come back as if he were reincarnated, in 24 Season 7: Bill Buchanan, Reincarnated? posted at The Jack Sack™.
Note to Adam: We all know why you offered up No. 4. Have you come out of your Scotch bath yet?

King Tom presents Ode To Bill posted at King Tom’s Kingdom and includes my favorite James Morrison (the actor, not the dead musician) photo ever: The New York Yoga magazine cover with Morrison on the cover. He’s a yoga master, after all. Tom also reminds us that he had a relationship with Michelle Dessler, yet still bore no ill will toward Tony.

Tom Harris, a British MP (minister of Parliament), is only up to Season 4, but he offers up how his son asked, “Does Superman wear Jack Bauer pyjamas?” (That’s how those wacky Brits spell pajamas) in his personal blog, And Another Thing… and offers up this quite accurate statement: “Jack Bauer is the man every man wants to be like but is also really, really scared of.”

Blogs4Bauer’s very own V the K handled this week’s TiVo blogging duties, deftly weaving comedy (igniting Jack’s farts to kill the terrorists) with the tragedy of Bill’s death (Jack comes perilously close to showing an emotion). It is, of course, over at Blogs4Bauer.

Then there’s the now-cliché, but always amusing, Jack Bauer vs. Chuck Norris posted at 944.com.  We’ve been through this before. Jack shoots Chuck before Chuck even thinks about doing a flying crane leap or whatever it is he does.

And, finally, here’s a matchup we haven’t seen before: Jack Bauer vs. Candyman posted at Digital Spy. They chose the horror film monster because the actor who played Gen. Juma also played Candyman. (I’ve only said it twice now, and I’m not in front of a mirror, don’t worry.) Given that the C-man is already dead and has a swarm of bees at his disposal, this isn’t your ordinary matchup. Nice.

That concludes this edition of The Carnival of Bauer!!!. Submit your blog article to the next edition of carnival of bauer!!! using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Want to host a future edition of the carnival? Say so in the comments and mention your favorite Jack Bauer kill.

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24: The two-hour extravaganza

March 6th, 2009 | by | 24

Mar
06

When I first heard Monday’s episode of 24 was giong to be two hours, I wondered why.

Well, after watching, it became obvious.

There was no freakin’ way that they could keep those two hours apart.

With one episode ending with Red Hot climbing up on a rocky embankment (which my erstwhile colleagues over at Blogs4Bauer pointed out bear absolutely no resemblance whatsoever to the banks of the Potomac) and an attack on the White House imminent (by an underwater drill-in?), there was no way the legions of insane 24 fans could – possibly would – have waited another week to find out what happened.

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So, to recap what happened in these two hours:

A general/military dictator from some backwater HAS MANAGED TO BREAK INTO THE WHITE HOUSE AND CAPTURE THE PRESIDENT. And, even more shockingly, JACK BAUER.

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24: Hour 10

February 24th, 2009 | by | 24, jack bauer, liveblog

Feb
24

As I live-blogged tonight on Blogs4Bauer with my crazy boy friends, I anxiously awaited the “slap scene,” as we called it. We even got one false alarm, then, WHAMMO!

Do I even need to say there are spoilers ahead?

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So, since the episode made us wait for the slap scene, I’ll make you wait for my discussion of it.

First off, there’s been discussion on B4B and on Twitter as to whether this was the best ep so far this season or just the best ep ever.

I think the latter may be hyperbole, but if so, not by much. Seeing as Season 7 is shaping up to be awesome on the level of Seasons 2 & 5 (my two faves), seeing as this is the best ep so far makes it definitely up there in the pantheon of awesomeness.

So let me ask this: Does Marika’s death count in Jack’s killcount, seeing as he’s basically responsible for her death? I vote yes.

I honestly believe that Red Hot would have pulled the trigger on Jack if she’d had to, not that it would have actually killed him. Badder folks have tried to kill Jack and failed, after all.

This is what happened tonight:

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24: Hour 9

February 18th, 2009 | by | 24, jack bauer

Feb
18

One of my fellow Blogs4Bauer bloggers commented Monday night during the liveblog (had a sick toddler, so I couldn’t watch and blog and snuggle at the same time) that Chewbacca’s girlfriend is the cougar of this season, and I have to agree.

I do not consider that to be a liability, however. The cougar has given us years of laughter amidst the tears.

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And, honestly, I consider Season 2 to be equal to Season 5 in awesomeness.

But Season 7 seems to be giving those two a run for their money.

Monday’s Hour of Bauer was quite excellent.

I SQUEEE!d when Agent Aaron Pierce (ret.) showed up. And I recognized his voice immediately. Did you know that Glenn Morshower is the only character other than Jack to appear in every single season so far? Yes, last season he had a poor cameo as Crazy Martha’s grocery shopper, but at least he was still there.

And as craptastic as Season 6 was, without Pierce’s trip to the farmer’s market, we never would have had the Great Kiwi Toss of Day 6, which, of course, immediatley preceded the Great Presidential Stabbing of Day 6, both of which were excellent.

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24: Hour 8

February 11th, 2009 | by | 24, jack bauer

Feb
11

Ladies and gentlemen, we have hit a new high point on 24: An almost-torture scene involving a baby.

Yes, our Jack-ette, Special Agent Renee Walker, handcuffed a mom to a table while her baby was crying and pretended like she was going to hurt the baby to get the dad to talk.

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It cost her a little piece of her soul to do it, but she did what she needed to do. Jack’s been there. He can be her sponsor.

This season has some kick-ass women – President Alison Taylor is pretty hardcore, too, saying she can’t expect the citizens of the country she serves to make sacrifices if she’s not ready to make them herself.

She’s way tougher than Larry over at the FBI. Who, first off, is completely unable to be incognito (what the hell was he doing in the hallway while he was talking to Renee on the phone?), and second, is totally a wimp and gives away the keys to his SUV to Jack, who – naturally – totals it.

By the way – were those looters trying to rifle through Larry’s car while Jack’s off offing the bad guy? Is D.C. really that bad now? Just wondering.

All those little details are part of what makes 24 great.

To be sure, the scene was a little boring when Larry waxed poetic about how what makes us different and better was that we don’t resort to torture, blah blah blah, but Jack had the right response: “Not today.”

But the best line of the night was when President Taylor wondered aloud if she could trust Jack.

His response: “Ask around.”

Indeed.

Now, I know she’s a brand-new president and all, but you’d have thought there’d be some secret communique between presidents, some book or something, where it would have a photo of Jack Bauer, with the explanation: Believe everything this man says, he’s saved this nation six times already, dammit!

How could she be president and not know Jack Bauer? Yeesh. How the heck long was he traipsing around Africa and elsewhere?

Last of all, I totally love the insane storyline of Dubaku’s girlfriend and her disabled sister.

That’s exactly the kind of insanity that makes 24 so much fun. A friend over at Blogs4Bauer the other night when we liveblogged commented that this woman’s going to be the cougar of Season 7, and I think he’s absolutely right.

Look, the guy’s trying to keep control of his fictional African nation while launching terrorist attacks agains the United States and torturing the First Gentleman. He CAN’T come over for a lasagna dinner. Sorry. He’s just going to have to reschedule.

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24: Hour 7

February 4th, 2009 | by | 24, jack bauer

Feb
04

Hour 7 gave us almost everything that is the best about 24, except for the fact that Jack didn’t say “Dammit” a single time.

You  hear that? Not a single D-bomb.

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But Chloe computered, Jack killed at least five bad guys, Renee Walker shot a guy in the back – yeah, baby! – and Bill, Tony, Jack and Chloe all working together for the common good.

And now, they’re going straight to Madame President because they can’t trust anyone else. This is what I wanna know: How does any president at this point not know that s/he simply must trust Jack Bauer? Tell me President Cankles (sorry, my friends at B4B started calling her that and I can’t stop now) doesn’t have some sort of secret memo from the multiple President Palmers that says,

Always listen to Jack Bauer. Always. Really – always. No, really. You need to listen to Jack. Did I mention that you should do whatever Jack Bauer says?

I think there should be a special panel on the desk in the Oval Office with that etched into it that pops out anytime someone tells the president not to listen to Jack or that Jack’s a bad man.

OK, I know the jokes – If everyone listened to Jack, the show would be called “2.”

I love how Matobo totally believes everything Jack says now, only an hour or so after meeting him. And blowing up Phlox (the guy who played the man who invented the stupid program that controls every sensitive computer-run system in the frakkin’ United States once played an alien doctor on the Star Trek spinoff Enterprise, for the five of you who didn’t know that) was inspired.

C’mon. We watch 24 because people are killed and blowed up and that sort of thing. You know you loved it.

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Because everyone loves a carnival …

January 29th, 2009 | by | 24, blog carnival, lost, supernatural

Jan
29

Two blog carnivals for TV Tyrant today:

• The Carnival of Bauer!!! (cotton candy bullets!) over at The Jack Sack. Adam’s one of my oldest blogger friends and is always funny, so I’ll even forgive him for continuing to harass me over the silent clock issue.

• Visions of Winchesters: The Supernatural Variety, over at Pop Culture Curmudgeon. Reviews, news and clips galore this week.

I still have some pondering to do over yesterday’s episode of Lost; I’ll have something posted in the next day or so. Just one thing (SPOILER ALERT – don’t read if you didn’t watch): Did your jaw drop when Richard Alpert said, “Widmore”? If you say no, you’re a big, fat stinking liar.

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24: What happened

January 28th, 2009 | by | 24, blog carnival, jack bauer

Jan
28

Don’t read if you didn’t watch. THERE’S NOT ENOUGH TIME!!!

OK, got that out of the way, so I can say this: Damn the gods of 24 for lying about the silent clock.
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I know that some people say you could hear her breathing over the clock, so it wasn’t TRULY silent. But it was a lie. They tried to make us believe she was dead.

But, I guess, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. It’s been a long time since 24 was able to surprise us about anything. Sure, there were plenty of fans who didn’t believe Walker was dead; but no one really knew for sure.

And that’s been a rarity on 24 in the past few years. It’s what made Day 5 so stunning, in fact, when we learned President Logan was the big bad. Sure, that’s only two seasons ago, but it seems much longer ago than that. (Maybe because we lost a season, dammit!)

But back to Monday’s ep.

Jack finally got a kill. Finally. I mean, we’ve had five hours of the episode before this and he hadn’t killed anyone yet?

And Tony got a kill, even. I’m glad they got rid of Emerson. The actor had finally just flat-out given up even pretending to have a British accent. I mean, he’s dead, right?

OK, so the high points:
• They blowed up airplanes within view of the White House. The bad guys mean business. I couldn’t tell, however, if the president’s chief of staff was surprised by it or not. I’m totally convinced he’s a bad guy.
• Chloe said, “Please.” Really? Chloe? Motherhood’s softened you.
• The First Husband is pretty badass. I mean, you had to see that coming. they weren’t going to kill him so early on, and when the 12-year-old Secret Service agent started taking his grand old time to set up the noose and the First Husband started getting feeling back…
• It never ceases to amaze me how someone can be all, “Sure, we’ll blow up the chemical plant and kill lots of people.” Sure, the head honcho bad terrorist guy, but what about his minions, who apparently are American (or, at least the sure as hell speak like Americans)…
• President Taylor is a hardass. I like this woman. She’s not taking crap from anyone. She kicked out that one cabinet member and was all, it’s my way or the highway.

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