My DVR most likely hates me. It does its duty, and does it well, but I just keep adding more and more shows to it. I wouldn’t be surprized if it slides itself off the television one night and strangles me in my sleep.

JJ Abrams can do just about anything and I will tune in with fangirly glee. I am that easy. I do, however, have the sense to expect a big pile of crap along with my glee. No point in having wild expectations, only to have them dashed against The Rock.

Three episodes of Alcatraz have aired so far, and I am finding it pretty entertaining. We have a secret lair (which is mighty inconvenient with all that water surrounding it, if you ask me), some kind of selective time traveling, Hurley being the smart one, Sam Neill just being awesome by being Sam Neill, and for all of you out there who miss Lost, some potential numbers shenanigans. Personally, I don’t think the numbers mean anything this go around, but I thought Fringe was just gonna be a X-Files rehash, so what do I know?

Looks as though each episode will be the appearance of one of the inmates , and our heroes tracking them down. The first two reappeared inmates seemed to have some sort of directive to get something done. Sylvane got a big-ass key from some poor guy, and Cobb shot whatsherface (what? I don’t know names yet!) totally on purpose. This last guy, while insanely CREE-PEE, didn’t seem to have a job to do, and he ended up dead, dead, dead. I wonder how many people thought, like I did, that when they brought that dead guy back to NewAlcatraz, and handed him over to the apparently perpetual Alcatraz doc, that there would be a shot to the neck or something, and the guy would be brought back to life. Anyone? Just me?

Much like Fringe in its early days, Alcatraz seems to be only okay with the MOW stories, but really interesting with the set up of its mythology. I love this kind of storytelling, and I hope that the audience has the patience for us to get to know these characters and find out what the hell is going on.

I love New York City. I lived in Brooklyn for 12 years and I miss the damn place on a regular basis.

I adore Kiefer. I own all eight seasons of 24 (including the TV movie, ‘Redemption’). I even sorta, kind of stalked the man not once, but twice on the streets of NYC.

So Fox, a network I keep wanting to hate, handed me me a shiny new show that not only takes place in my beloved city, but stars a lovely and awesome (as usual) Kiefer. Touch.

Now this show made me nervous. I want to laud anything Kiefer is in, but this sucker is from Tim Kring who gave us Heroes, which started out as a fantastic show, and devolved into one hot mess.  The man has great ideas, but seems to have trouble following through.

As far as I’m concerned, so far so good. Was the twisty, turny-ness a little convoluted? Yup. Do I care? Nope. Give me something fantastical to believe in and I will happily jump on board. I was worried that this was gonna be an hour of SadDadKiefer, but there were some nice, light moments, and Kiefer had plenty of edge to keep the character from falling over into self-indulgent woes-is-me’s. And the moment at the end, in the rain, on the cel tower? I teared right up. Well played, sirs!

I liked Touch, and am excited to see if they can pull this off week to week. Unfortunately, we’re gonna have to wait until March(!!) to get our next taste. But you know me, I will sit patiently for another dose of Kiefer-ness.

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[Cue the drumbeat. Roll the surfing video. Bring on the horn section!]

The brassiest TV theme song ever returned to CBS Monday night as the network premiered its update of Hawaii Five-O.

The original series ran from 1968-1980, which surprises me; I thought it ended much earlier. About all I remember – besides the boffo theme music – is Jack Lord’s hair, boxy cars and the signature tag line: “Book ‘em Danno.” I bet I’m not alone in that – and that CBS is banking on it. I’ll order some DVDs of the original from Netflix in the coming weeks, but for now that theme song leads to a blank canvas for me and, undoubtedly, many other viewers.

The pilot episode began, like a James Bond movie, with an action sequence that offered some plot background for what was to come. It was one of four gunfights in the roughly 44-minute pilot. The action was so fast and loud that I found them hard to follow the first time through. It wasn’t until I watched again on DVR that I was able to recognize exactly what happened and absorb the relevant plot points.

I understand that the writers had to pack a lot of exposition into the premiere episode, so for now I’ll let them slide on some of the logistical leaps of faith – an impromptu swearing-in by phone; Honolulu Police personnel instantly reassigned without any paperwork or institutional resistance; a city detective coming up with the latest high-tech gadgetry requested by his ex-Navy Seal boss.

It’s a lot easier to go with the flow when one is following a likable cast spouting snappy dialogue. The new Hawaii Five-O is off to a good start with that.

The lead role made famous by Lord, that of Steve McGarrett, is assumed by Alex O’Loughlin. It’s his third lead role in a CBS drama in four years, so he’s got to hope Five-O has more staying power than Moonlight (which I actually liked) and Three Rivers (which I never watched). Through the first third of the pilot, McGarrett carried icy, brooding anger that could’ve gotten old very quickly. Fortunately, the character started to warm up as he assembled and interacted with his three-person supporting cast.

Daniel Dae Kim didn’t even have to leave Hawaii following the last Lost. He just exchanged one beach for another to become Chin Ho Kelly, an ex-Honolulu cop mentored by McGarrett’s late father.

Grace Park, who played Boomer/Athena on Syfy’s updated Battlestar Galactica, again takes on a role originally written for a man. “My next goal is to do J.R. from Dallas,” she joked to Entertainment Weekly. “Then maybe Larry from Three’s Company.” She plays Kelly’s young cousin Kono, now a former professional surfer about to complete the police academy. Her role in the pilot was mostly to be eye candy, rocking a bikini in one scene and stripping down to her underwear in another. But she’s a fine actress, so I hope upcoming episodes give her more substantial plot lines.

As a number of TV critics have noted, the new series’ breakout performer, at least in the pilot, is Scott Caan as McGarrett’s sidekick Danno. The son of actor James Caan, his best-known role probably has been as a supporting player in Ocean’s 11 and its sequels. Playing an East Coast cop recently relocated to Honolulu – and not too happy about it – his chemistry with O’Loughlin will be key to the show’s staying power.

The pilot foreshadowed a possible romance between Danno and Kono. It will be interesting to see if the writers go there, and if so how.

Visually, the new show follows the lead of its predecessor in offering sweeping shots of Hawaii’s landmark vistas. It will be a weekly commercial for the 50th state, so it’s no surprise that product placement was prominent. A colorful Hawaiian Airlines jet was part of the opening montage, and the company ran a commercial late in the show. (I’m writing from Phoenix, and it might have been a local Phoenix ad buy since Hawaiian only serves about 10 cities on the mainland.) Late in the pilot, McGarrett offers Danno a weekend stay at the Kahala Hotel, noting specifically that guests there can swim with the dolphins.

Oddly enough, I wasn’t annoyed by these product placements. As I said earlier about credibility gaps, viewers will overlook a lot of “coincidences” if they become invested in the characters and enjoy watching them develop week to week.

During upcoming episodes, it will be interesting to see if the minds behind the new Hawaii Five-O can build on that dynamic.

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Stu Robinson, a college friend of the TV Tyrant, is a writer, editor, media-relations specialist and social-media guy based in Phoenix. He works for the city of Peoria, Ariz., and his own freelance practice, Lightbulb Communications.

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Totally cool: The original creator, Kenneth Johnson, gets credit, which he did not on the craptacular series.

Might this mean something good?

If this look at the first eight minutes of the new V series is any indication, I’m guessing, “Yes.”

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