My DVR most likely hates me. It does its duty, and does it well, but I just keep adding more and more shows to it. I wouldn’t be surprized if it slides itself off the television one night and strangles me in my sleep.

JJ Abrams can do just about anything and I will tune in with fangirly glee. I am that easy. I do, however, have the sense to expect a big pile of crap along with my glee. No point in having wild expectations, only to have them dashed against The Rock.

Three episodes of Alcatraz have aired so far, and I am finding it pretty entertaining. We have a secret lair (which is mighty inconvenient with all that water surrounding it, if you ask me), some kind of selective time traveling, Hurley being the smart one, Sam Neill just being awesome by being Sam Neill, and for all of you out there who miss Lost, some potential numbers shenanigans. Personally, I don’t think the numbers mean anything this go around, but I thought Fringe was just gonna be a X-Files rehash, so what do I know?

Looks as though each episode will be the appearance of one of the inmates , and our heroes tracking them down. The first two reappeared inmates seemed to have some sort of directive to get something done. Sylvane got a big-ass key from some poor guy, and Cobb shot whatsherface (what? I don’t know names yet!) totally on purpose. This last guy, while insanely CREE-PEE, didn’t seem to have a job to do, and he ended up dead, dead, dead. I wonder how many people thought, like I did, that when they brought that dead guy back to NewAlcatraz, and handed him over to the apparently perpetual Alcatraz doc, that there would be a shot to the neck or something, and the guy would be brought back to life. Anyone? Just me?

Much like Fringe in its early days, Alcatraz seems to be only okay with the MOW stories, but really interesting with the set up of its mythology. I love this kind of storytelling, and I hope that the audience has the patience for us to get to know these characters and find out what the hell is going on.

I love New York City. I lived in Brooklyn for 12 years and I miss the damn place on a regular basis.

I adore Kiefer. I own all eight seasons of 24 (including the TV movie, ‘Redemption’). I even sorta, kind of stalked the man not once, but twice on the streets of NYC.

So Fox, a network I keep wanting to hate, handed me me a shiny new show that not only takes place in my beloved city, but stars a lovely and awesome (as usual) Kiefer. Touch.

Now this show made me nervous. I want to laud anything Kiefer is in, but this sucker is from Tim Kring who gave us Heroes, which started out as a fantastic show, and devolved into one hot mess.  The man has great ideas, but seems to have trouble following through.

As far as I’m concerned, so far so good. Was the twisty, turny-ness a little convoluted? Yup. Do I care? Nope. Give me something fantastical to believe in and I will happily jump on board. I was worried that this was gonna be an hour of SadDadKiefer, but there were some nice, light moments, and Kiefer had plenty of edge to keep the character from falling over into self-indulgent woes-is-me’s. And the moment at the end, in the rain, on the cel tower? I teared right up. Well played, sirs!

I liked Touch, and am excited to see if they can pull this off week to week. Unfortunately, we’re gonna have to wait until March(!!) to get our next taste. But you know me, I will sit patiently for another dose of Kiefer-ness.

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[Cue the drumbeat. Roll the surfing video. Bring on the horn section!]

The brassiest TV theme song ever returned to CBS Monday night as the network premiered its update of Hawaii Five-O.

The original series ran from 1968-1980, which surprises me; I thought it ended much earlier. About all I remember – besides the boffo theme music – is Jack Lord’s hair, boxy cars and the signature tag line: “Book ‘em Danno.” I bet I’m not alone in that – and that CBS is banking on it. I’ll order some DVDs of the original from Netflix in the coming weeks, but for now that theme song leads to a blank canvas for me and, undoubtedly, many other viewers.

The pilot episode began, like a James Bond movie, with an action sequence that offered some plot background for what was to come. It was one of four gunfights in the roughly 44-minute pilot. The action was so fast and loud that I found them hard to follow the first time through. It wasn’t until I watched again on DVR that I was able to recognize exactly what happened and absorb the relevant plot points.

I understand that the writers had to pack a lot of exposition into the premiere episode, so for now I’ll let them slide on some of the logistical leaps of faith – an impromptu swearing-in by phone; Honolulu Police personnel instantly reassigned without any paperwork or institutional resistance; a city detective coming up with the latest high-tech gadgetry requested by his ex-Navy Seal boss.

It’s a lot easier to go with the flow when one is following a likable cast spouting snappy dialogue. The new Hawaii Five-O is off to a good start with that.

The lead role made famous by Lord, that of Steve McGarrett, is assumed by Alex O’Loughlin. It’s his third lead role in a CBS drama in four years, so he’s got to hope Five-O has more staying power than Moonlight (which I actually liked) and Three Rivers (which I never watched). Through the first third of the pilot, McGarrett carried icy, brooding anger that could’ve gotten old very quickly. Fortunately, the character started to warm up as he assembled and interacted with his three-person supporting cast.

Daniel Dae Kim didn’t even have to leave Hawaii following the last Lost. He just exchanged one beach for another to become Chin Ho Kelly, an ex-Honolulu cop mentored by McGarrett’s late father.

Grace Park, who played Boomer/Athena on Syfy’s updated Battlestar Galactica, again takes on a role originally written for a man. “My next goal is to do J.R. from Dallas,” she joked to Entertainment Weekly. “Then maybe Larry from Three’s Company.” She plays Kelly’s young cousin Kono, now a former professional surfer about to complete the police academy. Her role in the pilot was mostly to be eye candy, rocking a bikini in one scene and stripping down to her underwear in another. But she’s a fine actress, so I hope upcoming episodes give her more substantial plot lines.

As a number of TV critics have noted, the new series’ breakout performer, at least in the pilot, is Scott Caan as McGarrett’s sidekick Danno. The son of actor James Caan, his best-known role probably has been as a supporting player in Ocean’s 11 and its sequels. Playing an East Coast cop recently relocated to Honolulu – and not too happy about it – his chemistry with O’Loughlin will be key to the show’s staying power.

The pilot foreshadowed a possible romance between Danno and Kono. It will be interesting to see if the writers go there, and if so how.

Visually, the new show follows the lead of its predecessor in offering sweeping shots of Hawaii’s landmark vistas. It will be a weekly commercial for the 50th state, so it’s no surprise that product placement was prominent. A colorful Hawaiian Airlines jet was part of the opening montage, and the company ran a commercial late in the show. (I’m writing from Phoenix, and it might have been a local Phoenix ad buy since Hawaiian only serves about 10 cities on the mainland.) Late in the pilot, McGarrett offers Danno a weekend stay at the Kahala Hotel, noting specifically that guests there can swim with the dolphins.

Oddly enough, I wasn’t annoyed by these product placements. As I said earlier about credibility gaps, viewers will overlook a lot of “coincidences” if they become invested in the characters and enjoy watching them develop week to week.

During upcoming episodes, it will be interesting to see if the minds behind the new Hawaii Five-O can build on that dynamic.

###

Stu Robinson, a college friend of the TV Tyrant, is a writer, editor, media-relations specialist and social-media guy based in Phoenix. He works for the city of Peoria, Ariz., and his own freelance practice, Lightbulb Communications.

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After false lead after false lead, I finally found a version of the 12-minute Lost “epilogue” floating around online and I’m very glad I did.

If you want to wait for the official DVD/Blu-Ray version to find out what happened, stop reading now. In other words: SPOILERS AHEAD, DIVERT DIVERT DIVERT!

OK, so if you’re still reading, you either have watched the video or you want to know what’s in it (I won’t link to it here, as I don’t want to contribute to the takedown hunt — plus, for all I know, the version I saw has been taken down anyhow.)

So … were there answers?

Sorta. But enough more was settled that it made me feel even more comfortable with the ending as it was. Except I’d have loved to have seen Lapidus rappelling out of a helicopter or something. Not that it would have had ANYthing to do with ANYthing, but c’mon, that would have been great.

(Note: If you’re as big a Lapidus fan as myself, check out FYeahLapidus.)

OK, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system.

Here’s what I got out of the 12 minutes:
• Hurley and Ben have completely adapted to their island protector roles. Hurley’s at peace more than he’s ever been. He’s happy, I dare say. Ben, I think, is actually happy to not be running around deceiving and killing people.
• How much did you want to run in, grab that binder filled with DVDs that Ben had and run away?
• Polar bears were on the island due to their ability to withstand electromagnetism and their intelligence. Not of huge importance, but at least it explains why, specifically, polar bears.
• The Purge happened a pretty short time after the Incident – at least in outside world time. Those guys in the warehouse were hired 20 years ago to set up the food drops, and the Dharma Initiative ended soon after. The food drops were due to the Incident.
• Better for those two warehouse guys to think the food drops had been unnecessary for 20 years than to have to explain that there were, indeed, two guys on the island pressing a button, yada yada yada.
• Ben and Hurley are tying up all the loose ends created by the Dharma Initiative’s incursion onto the island.
• Poor Walt. Though the epilogue doesn’t exactly explain WHY Walt is special, it does explain that he is, and that he’s important to the island. I’d love to understand more of why, but at least it brings that full circle – a plotline that was so integral to the island for the first two years, at least getting its due. He obviously has some sort of ability to help the lost souls on the island move on to whatever it is they need to move on to?
• Obviously, the Dharma folks understood why women could no longer carry babies to term on the island – the Incident & the electromagnetism it unleashed. Why didn’t the Others understand this? They obviously didn’t, because they brought Juliet in to help. And if they did, they sure as hell didn’t explain it to Juliet.

So, what did I miss? Did it satisfy any of your burning questions? How much would you pay to see a Lapidus spinoff? Or a Hurley/Ben spinoff? I’d watch either. I’d love to see one-off episodes, a mystery of the week-type thing.

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You probably noticed the site looks a little different today. I just upgraded to WordPress 3.0 and upgraded my theme and decided I wanted to get away from the old snow in the background I used to have, as it was rather harsh on the eyes anyway. I haven’t decided what background to go with yet, but it made no sense to reinstall that old background.

I’m not fond of this neon orange, so don’t worry – it’s not here to stay.

I’ve been rather lax in updating the blog in the past month, as you’ve likely noticed.

The end of two of my all-time favorite shows – Lost and 24 – left me unsure about what I wanted to blog on next. June is a pretty crappy month for TV anymore and though I love Burn Notice and In Plain Sight, I just don’t have a lot to talk about. I’d gotten so used to the analysis of Lost and Battlestar and the mocking of or cheering on for 24 that I don’t really want to go back to the recap route.

Fortunately, Warehouse 13 and Eureka start up soon, and I think both will provide plenty of fodder for good TVT posts.

Erika is hiding in a corner, crying out of sheer joy that there will be more Jensen Ackles next season. Seriously, though, I didn’t think they could get another decent season out of Supernatural after the apocalypse this season, but that final scene last month convinced me otherwise.

I’m also watching some stuff via Netflix, so I might start blogging about that. And I still have Season 2 of Torchwood to plow through. But I don’t want TVT to become an archival TV blog. Or, wait – that might be kinda cool.

Anyway, as you can see, I’m trying to figure out the direction to go in. I love TV (well, certain TV shows anyhow) and I do enjoy writing about it. I appreciate all the discussions and comments and everything we’ve had here, and they will continue, I promise.

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Before I get into the meat of the matter, I have to ask this of the folks out there who didn’t like the finale of Lost last night:

You didn’t like the Battlestar Galactica ending either, did you?

I ask that not to accuse you of just not liking finales to shows you’ve loved. I ask that because in both cases, I believe the ending was absolutely the culmination of everything that came before.

The endings MADE SENSE. Yes, you can nitpick and complain about little things here or there that didn’t make sense. When you’ve unraveled as much string as both of these shows did, it’s hard to get it all back into a neat little ball of yarn.

Not all questions were answered, and in some cases that was infuriating (from both shows).

But, in the end, the show was what it was always about: The people. Love. Fate. Free will. The afterlife.

The only way to tackle last night’s action-packed ending is by bullet points. I’m emotionally exhausted and I still have two hours of 24 to watch tonight, and that promises to be as equally emotionally wrenching.

The afterlife

Let’s get one thing straight: The island wasn’t purgatory. Not for our Losties, at least. Sure, there are some people who are stuck there forever, running around whispering stuff, like Michael. But our Losties’ Purgatory or waiting room or whatever you wanna call it was the alternate universe. The flash-sideways.

The island was real. The Losties were absolutely alive.

The flash-sideways was a place where these people who had become a family could come together and finally find peace. And once they finally all came together, it was time to go into the light.

OK, that moment was totally hokey. But did you notice the statues of Vishnu and the Buddha in the rectory? Did you notice the stained glass window that had symbols from Judaism, Islam, Jainism, every religion, practically?

This wasn’t about a Judeo-Christian afterlife. This was a recognition that every religious or spiritual practice in the world has some sort of belief system about what happens after life on this world is over. If you were Buddhist, you could believe that the island and their tests there were their final tests before enlightenment. Or maybe the flash sideways was, and now they don’t have to be reborn again.

Love

Omg, when Juliet and Sawyer met again and recognized one another and kissed, I was bawling like a baby. (KNEW that the baby doctor was gonna be Juliet and that she was going to be Jack’s ex-wife.) And Jin & Sun, too. Like. A. Baby.

This show has always been about love and loss. From Day One.

And you know what? Team Darlton made us love these characters. Even the ones who annoyed you, you had moments of loving. Don’t deny it. Denial is ugly.

Jack/Jacob/Hurley/Ben

It made so much sense to have Hurley be the new Jacob. He was always the one who took care of people, made them feel better.

Jack’s job was always to fix things. In the end, he fixed the island. He sent Desmond down there to break it – but that was only, really, so he could kill Flocke. Flocke couldn’t be killed until the island was broken. When Des pulled the cork out of the island, Jack and Flocke became mortal.

By the way, how freakin’ awesome was that flying punch-down that Jack did to Flocke on the cliff? Cut to commercial. WOW.

So, anyway, Flocke could be killed. He couldn’t leave the island and bring his evil with him. He couldn’t end life, the universe and everything by leaving.

That was Jack’s job. He was always the fixer. Only when he gave up the idea of having to fix everything was he actually able to fix the thing he’d been working toward his entire life.

Once that was done, he wasn’t the person to keep the island safe. It made so much sense for it to be Hurley. The second Hurley went back with Jack to save Des and the Island, it became exceedingly obvious that was what was going to happen.

And bravo to Ben, in the end, doing what was right. Even telling Hurley that he could send Des back to Penny and his son, Charlie. Indeed, if Hurley was the new Jacob, couldn’t he make his own rules? Why couldn’t people leave the island?

Fine job, Ben. I liked that they invited Ben inside the church to come with them, but that Ben chose more time in purgatory, to atone for what he’d done, to make things right with Alex and Danielle. He’d redeemed himself and was “eligible” to move on, but he chose not to. Which redeemed him even more.

Desmond/Penny

Thank you.

De plane! De plane!

Who else let out a yelp and applauded when Miles and Richard found Lapidus bobbing in the ocean! That. Was. So. Awesome. I don’t know, I had a feeling he was still alive.

And Richard was still alive, too – was it his brush with death with Smokey what made him mortal again, or was it the cork being pulled out of the island? Probably the latter.

So Lost to have him find a reason to live again, once he knew he could die.

Duct tape fixes everything.

When Kate, Sawyer and Claire come upon the Ajira plane just about to taxi and Frank gets ‘em on, total sigh of relief, but also an intake of breath. Would they still escape the island? Nothing was ever certain on Lost, and they’d killed almost everyone else by this point, so it could have happened.

Questions:

Why wasn’t Miles in the church? And Richard, too? What about Frank?

Dharma initiative? Um, totally confused about that. How did they ever get to the island? Obviously, they were trying to find Elvar Hanso’s ship and did, but how did they even find it? Did Jacob allow them to come? Or did the MiB allow them to come, knowing the destruction they’d reign down on the Others.

WTF were the Others? Just people gathered by Jacob over the years to protect the island? Were they candidates? Were some candidates?

Why couldn’t babies be born on the island? Was it the nuclear bomb? I assume that, but it was never made clear.

Why did the Others have that superhuman strength? Did the exposure to the radiation make them all Hulk-like, except not green and huge?

What was Widmore’s backstory? We never really got that. We never learned how he got to the island, why he was there (Eloise, too). And who was Penny’s mother? How did that all transpire that he met some woman off-island whom he loved and had a child with? And how did Eloise and Faraday end up off-island? Did she leave when she found out she was pregnant so her child would live? (They hadn’t had Faraday yet when Widmore was forced to leave, right?)

Who in the hell was Matthew Abbadon? I know he worked for Widmore, but wtf? Ilana, too.

I’m sure I’ll come up with more questions and more thoughts.

_____

But I do want to say this:

Thank you to the entire cast and crew of Lost – you provided excellent entertainment and diversion for six years. The acting, the writing, the music, the editing, the cinematography – it was all better than we’ve seen on television in, maybe, ever. OK, a close tie with The Wire and Battlestar Galactica, but in a totally different way.

Thanks for being my Constant.

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We’re down to the last 2.5 hours of one of the best shows in the history of television (1- that’s not hyperbole and 2- even if it were, I’m allowed). If you haven’t watched Tuesday’s ep yet, LEAVE NOW.

So, we had two very distinct sets of stories going on last night and they’re hurtling toward one another, faster and faster, ready to culminate in … what?

The Island – Jake & the candidates

• Kate was still a viable candidate. Her name being crossed off had nothing to do with her being killed (though that could still happen) – it had everything to do with her having a purpose in life. Once Kate became mom to Aaron, she no longer was a viable candidate, because she had someone who needed her. Once she chose to get Claire back to Aaron, she became viable again.

• Jacob was visible to the candidates now, not just Hurley. Why? Could he always have made himself visible, but only let Hurley see him because Hurley wouldn’t freak out at being able to see him?

• Jack! I was never a Jack hater, but I’ve really grown to love him the last few episodes. He has finally accepted his place in the world and he’s much more enjoyable to watch. And now he’s the new Jacob and needs to find a way to destroy (or, at least, bottle up) the MiB.

• How long does it take to burn a bag of ashes? Jacob was still there for a long time, no?

• Who was Sawyer trying to kid, saying he was doing just fine until Jacob came along? None of the final candidates was doing OK. All four were all behind bars – either jail or the crazy farm.

• DESMOND! Where are you, brotha? Are you going to save the world in both timelines? (Note to Team Darlton: Remember what I said about Desmond and Pennah!)

The Island – Ben & Flocke, together again for the first time

• What did Widmore tell Flocke?

• Ben, you bastard! I knew you couldn’t be all good, but I didn’t realize you had all that bad left in you, either. I guess when faced with the man indirectly responsible for Alex’s death, however, that was bound to happen.

• Miles: The smartest man left on the island. RUN, MILES, RUN! Don’t answer Ben if he calls you on the walkie, btw.

• Will Flocke still kill Pennah if he manages to leave the island? Oh, wait, if he leaves the island, everyone and everything comes to a screeching halt, so, kind of, yeah.

• Bye Zoe. We hardly knew ye, but you weren’t very important anyway.

• So, Widmore’s dead. Wow. Just when I was starting to maybe kind of like him.

• Is Richard dead? He was released by Jacob from living for all eternity, right?

Off-Island

• Sawyer’s an honest cop. Go figure. But that’s OK, Kate got away anyhow.

• Ana-Lucia! Wow, you’re a crooked cop. Somehow, I was glad to see that Ana-Lucia was a bad one. I never liked her. Love that Hurley and Desmond were basically being like Starsky and Hutch or Laurel and Hardy, maybe.

• Ben, in the haze of Desmond’s beating, saw his other life. Did he see what he did to Danielle? What if she suddenly flashes on her other life? That’ll end her fondness of Dr. Linus. It’s interesting to see, though, the happy, non-crazy Danielle.

• I realize that most of the Losties are happy in the alternate timeline. Only Kate and Sayid are pretty frakkin’ miserable still. What’s going to happen this weekend at the Concert?

Random questions remaining that somehow were raised by this ep

• Why couldn’t women have babies on the island? It’s not the MiB preventing it, as we know of at least once baby conceived and born on the island – Ethan. Was it the detonation of Jughead?

• In the alternate timeline, with the island at the bottom of the ocean, is that an alternate way of keeping MiB from getting off the island? Can we have our happy Losties and leave the Island at the bottom of the sea or do they have to go back to the original timeline and all die?

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Didn’t watch? Get the frak outta here!

OK, so this episode answered soooooo many questions, even as it raised others. The biggest question it answered (and theory it put to rest) was the identity of the island’s “Adam and Eve” – Jacob’s adoptive mother and his brother, the actual MiB.

Loved that it flashed back to that scene from Season 1 where Jack and Kate found the skeletons in the caves and Locked dubbed them Adam and Eve, reminding anyone who may not be keeping detailed notes about the show (all five of you). The “Rose and Bernard are Adam and Eve” theory was shot to hell there. (Also, nice foreshadowing of Flocke; he was still the Locke we knew and loved at that point.)

No time warp, no one we knew – but extremely important to the history of the island.

By the way, remember when Locke was dragged into the ground by Smokey in Season 1 or 2, but was dragged back out and said he’d seen the heart of the island and it was beautiful? Yeah, he was doomed all the way back then.

Here’s what we learned and questions I have:

• What is MiB’s name? Drove me crazy that he was never named, but somehow appropriate. Obviously, he had a name. Wouldn’t have been raised for so many years without one. But in true Lost fashion, his name was never uttered. Even though, as I said, it drove me crazy, I loved that detail. His name isn’t important. He’s Smokey. He’s Flocke. He’s Smocke. He’s Christian Shepherd. He’s the Man in Black.

• MiB could see dead people. Jacob couldn’t. Does this mean, somehow, that Hurley is more like MiB? We saw from his background that he wasn’t a bad person/being. Didn’t start out that way, at least. He discovered the ultimate betrayal – that he’d been lied to his entire life about his parentage, about there being things in the world besides the island, about everything. But if he had been told the truth earlier, would he have tried to leave the island earlier? I think so.

• MiB instinctively knew how things worked. He knew how to play that game he found on the beach. He knew how to build the Frozen Donkey Wheel. He knew how to use the light – the source – for his own purposes. How did he know these things? Obviously, he had shared how to use the wheel with those he drew close to him – Ben, for example. Did Widmore use the wheel to get off the island before? And if so, how did he get back? I thought one of the side effects of using the wheel was that the island moved in time and space. And if he didn’t use the wheel, how, exactly, did he get off? The submarine? Was it that it was easier to leave through the correct coordinates underwater? And why? (Wow, this bullet point ended far from where it began.)

• MiB was far more intuitive and “special” than Jacob. Jacob had no guile, but didn’t seem particularly bright. He was totally an annoying mama’s boy. By the time he decided to rebel, it was too late, and he was the only option for protecting the island, so he did it. He never cared about leaving the island, had no natural curiousity.  I found his talk with MiB about the people in the settlement interesting – MiB, having lived among them, found them deeply flawed. Jacob, by watching them only from afar, really saw nothing wrong with them. MiB’s knowledge of man comes from experience, while Jacob’s comes from ignorance. The problem is, MiB had a very small group to study, and was discounting the good things he found among them – all the clever men who helped him find the places on the island where metal acted funny. MiB so desperately wants to leave the island that he doesn’t care that it will eliminate all everything.

• MiB is not just some evil smoke monster. Smokey is not just a manifestation of evil, or the devil. MiB IS The Source. He went into the cave and came out as Smokey. His body died (which confused me, as I thought that the boys could not kill one another – interesting that MiB could not kill Jacob, but Jacob could kill MiB, or was that only because it was an accident that MiB died?), but his essence came out as Smokey. The crackling in the cloud is part of the Source light. Does some of The Source remain inside the island?

• The Island isn’t Purgatory or Hell. It is, in a sense, Eden – the Source of all life. To destroy the light is to destroy everything – it will all cease to exist. Jacob accepted that he had to keep MiB on the island in order to keep the Light from going out. MiB doesn’t even particularly care about that. He has always wanted to leave the island, to see what else is out there. He doesn’t seem to care/realize that if he were to leave the island, there would be nothing/nowhere to see. Why do I suspect that, in the end, he’s going to realize that and become the island’s protector – as he was meant to be all along?

I’m glad the show isn’t just a matter of good and evil. I suspected Team Darlton had some game-changer in their pockets, but couldn’t for the life of me figure out what that is. Once again, they’ve shown that Good and Evil aren’t simply a matter of Good and Evil. Nothing (and no one) is pure good. Nothing (and no one) is pure evil. Jacob beat the crap out of his brother more than once; MiB never raised a hand at Jacob, even to protect himself.

This is my prediction: All our candidates are going to die, but MiB will realize that he truly needs to protect the island, or else he’ll have nowhere to go anyway. And so he’ll stay. And because he can see dead people, he’ll get to hang with Jacob and their “mom” and all the others who’ve died and run around on the island. It will be a sad ending, because these people we’ve followed and traveled with for so long will be gone, but a happy ending, because the world will be saved. (Also interesting: Locke was probably the best candidate for saving the island because he believed in it so strongly, so with MiB manifesting as Locke, how will that affect things?)

Oh, and Desmond and Penny had BETTER be together, or else I’m gonna be really pissed. Not sure if I’ve mentioned that before. DO NOT KILL THEM OR KEEP THEM APART, DO YOU HEAR ME DARLTON? kthxbai.

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I had a sudden moment watching Lost tonight (first chance I had to sit down and watch!) that made a whole heckuva lot of things make so much more sense.

(Insert usual spoiler alert, blah blah blah.)

The cabin that Ben used to visit Jacob at wasn’t Jacob’s cabin at all. Jacob had trapped Smokey there.

Before I continue, I want to say two things:

1) Bear with me; I know that there are some inconsistencies with this, as we saw Smokey around the island anyhow in this time. But I may have the answer to that. Or, at least, a partial answer.

2) I am just not that smart sometimes. This theory is more than likely all over all the message boards and blogs already, but I haven’t been reading the lately because I really have been trying to absorb Lost myself this season. So apologies if my epiphany is a bunch of, “Really? You just recognized that?” I may very well be pathetically slow to pick up on certain things.

OK, so: Why Jacob’s Cabin was really Smokey’s Cabin, by Amy Vernon:

We know that Smokey pretended to be Christian Shepherd. That’s how he got Claire to come with him and kind of made Jack crazy, thinking he was seeing his dad.

Remember how when Ben took Locke to see Jacob in the cabin? “Jacob” was in a rocking chair, “help me,” he implored Locke. And then, the screenshots seen around the world: “Jacob” was Christian Shepherd.

So from that episode, we all assumed that Jacob was in trouble. His cabin was surrounded by ash (which we now know keeps Smokey out — or in), he begged Locke for help. I posit that Jacob had trapped Smokey in this ever-moving cabin, in hopes, maybe, that Ben wouldn’t be able to find it and be swayed by him.

See, I think that Ben THOUGHT he was visiting Jacob all that time. And all the anger he had toward Jacob was, in actuality, toward Smokey. Smokey told him to kill all the Dharma folk. That’s not Jacob’s style.

Jacob’s a pretty hands-off kind of guy. But The Others have been, for years, manipulated by Smokey, even as they thought they were serving Jacob.

But wait! you say. Didn’t Jack see “Christian” the third day on the island? Didn’t we see Smokey multiple times before the episode where Locke visited? Didn’t Eko see his brother and face down Smokey?

Didn’t Locke himself face down Smokey?

Well, remember how when Keamey killed Alex, Ben rushed to the basement of his house in New Otherton and did some weird things with heiroglyphic panels and Smokey suddenly rushed up and killed Keamey and his men?

Ben had control over Smokey through whatever that interface was. He could leave the cabin whenever directed to by that, though had to do what he was directed. He may, actually, have been directed to kill Locke, but I think Smokey saw his future self there and was unwilling to kill his future vessel.

Once Jacob’s cabin was burned down, Smokey was freed. He no longer was kept to a single spot on the island, let out only like a dog to do his master’s bidding.

And so he convinced Ben to kill Jacob by reminding him of all the things that he – Smokey, NOT Jacob – had done to Ben, had gotten Ben to do without ever caring a whit about him.

Everyone who really knew Jacob knew he lived in the statue. So why would he have ever lived in that cabin? And it does not appear by any stretch of the imagination that Jacob was ever captured by Smokey and kept prisoner.

So that’s my brilliant insomniac insanity.

As for the rest of the episode tonight, it’s very clearly building toward something big. Was the episode in and of itself better than the last couple weeks? No. But did it very deftly set the stage for the awesomeness of the coming four final episodes? Yes.

Everyone is being moved ever closer together in our flash sideways. Even Ilana’s there. Jack’s operating on Locke, who was accompanied to hte hospital by Ben. Claire is outed as Jack’s sister. Jin and Sun are together and are gonna have their baby. Miles and Sawyer captured Sayid, and it seems likely they’re gonna bring him back to the police station, where Kate is being held. Not sure where Desmond is, but he’s definitely lurking somewhere. Hurley’s gonna pop up, too.

The timelines are bleeding through even more, as Sun is extremely aware that Locke is no good. (Speaking of, the reason Sun couldn’t speak English anymore was because flash sideways Sun couldn’t.)

It was sweet to see Sun and Jin together again, but with the specter of Desmond and Penny potentially not being together for the rest of their lives, I just can’t feel the love. I’m a bit stressed out that the best couple ever in the history of television may not be together in the end.

DO YOU HEAR ME, TEAM DARLTON?

And speaking of Desmond: No way Sayid killed him. Seriously. Sayid dared Flocke to check on him because he knew Flocke couldn’t imagine that one of his zombies would actually not do what he said.

Desmond pierced Sayid through the heart when he asked what his lady love would think when she learned what Sayid did to be with her once again. And, as we know, love is powerful on this show. It’s what’s making the two timelines begin to merge. And it’s what kept Sayid from killing Desmond.

And love also is what got Claire to give up Danielle’s life and agree to put down her weapon. She realized that Kate was telling her the truth. And her love for Aaron is stronger than any hold Flocke could have over her. To know that she could raise her own baby and that Kate’s sole purpose in coming back to the island was to get her and reunite her with Aaron – the love dissolved just enough of Flocke’s hold on her.

Just in time, because Jack may or may not be under Flocke’s thrall. What I’m not certain of quite yet is whether Jack came back to the island because he is Jacob’s replacement and feels the pull of the island so strongly or because he is one of Flocke’s zombies.

Thing is, if it were as simple as that – as simple as Flocke talking to you that “captured” you, why wouldn’t Kate and Sawyer be his zombies, too?

Or is it because Claire basically died. Sayid died. Jack just died from the explosion (though he didn’t know it), and so freshly dead people Flocke can turn into his zombies, so he does?

So many questions; so few hours left to answer.

I’m so curious, though, whether you all think I’m just basically crazy or maybe onto something. Or, even, WAY late to the game.

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I was always pissed off that Libby was killed. I really liked her character; thought she had a lot of depth. Nevermind that Hurley so totally deserved to have some love in his life, too.

But we’ve always had hints that Libby was more important to the overall storyline than her one-season stint implied.

She was in Hurley’s looney bin, though we never knew why. And Hurley never realized she was there, either. And she (or her doppelganger) gave Desmond the boat that got him to the island – we’ve never really found out what that was about.

But Libby is an important piece of the puzzle, which should have been obvious from our Desmond-centric (PENNNAAAHHH!) episode last week.

Love is the key, sorta, somehow. And she and Hurley were, indeed, soulmates. They were in love. And her kiss brought Hurley’s memories flooding back. And made me cry. Don’t tell me it didn’t make you cry, too, because if you say you didn’t, you’re lying. Or you have no soul. Your choice.

The thing is, with love being the key to the island bleed-through, it raises an interesting conundrum: who does Kate love? And who loves Kate? And will we see Juliet again? Will she help bring back Sawyer’s memories? I’d SO prefer Juliet being the yin to Sawyer’s yang than Kate.

But if Juliet doesn’t come back, this is what I think is going to happen with the three of them: Kate and Sawyer. And Jack is going to become the new Jacob. He’s accepted his fate, we saw last night.

He’s stopped trying to fix everything, and just do the best he can. He has accepted that he can’t control everything and everyone. He even has the name – Jack/Jacob? Not a coincidence.

Sorry, so back to last night:

In our alternate reality, Libby’s in the crazy house because of our original timeline. Which really makes me wonder why she was there originally. Remember how Lance Reddick visited her there in the original timeline? Speaking of, what’s up with him? Are we going to see Abbadon again?

Desmond obviously has the manifest now, as he managed to find Hurley (poor Hurley!) at Mr. Cluck’s and convince him to pursue Libby. Hurley knew he knew her, just didn’t know how or why. Desmond can be ever-so-convincing (and dreamy!) and it didn’t take much for him to get Hurley to ask her out.

Of course, a picnic. On a beach. Then, The Kiss.

It wasn’t overly dramatic or passionate, but it was a token of love from Libby to Hurley, across time and space. All the memories of their other life came flooding back.

I want her to appear to Hurley on the island, though. I want him to have a chance to talk to her again, in the real timeline.

Speaking of, the theory that the island is purgatory certainly got a big boost last night, with Michael explaining he couldn’t leave and confirming that the whispers were of the dead who could not move on from there.

Gee, sounds like purgatory to me.

I did feel so sorry for Michael when he apologized to Hurley. He only ever did what he did so he could be with Walt. And in the end, the Island took him anyway, and took Walt from him. I am kind of bothered, however, that the mystery of Walt has sort of been cast aside. I know he grew up because, well, he was a kid and now he’s a young man in OUR real life, but this is Lost. There’s gotta be some way to explain that all away. Maybe his special powers enabled him to age in the real timeline as opposed to the island timeline.

Everything else

• I hated that Miles went with Richard. He and Hurley need to hang more. Not surprised that Ben went with him. Should get interesting.

• Didn’t care much that Ilana got blown up as she was getting a bit annoying, though I am kind of curious about her and would like to know more about her background. And I wonder if she’s really dead, or was she just blown off the island and the scene where we saw Jacob visiting a very injured Ilana in a rustic hospital somewhere was her recovering from her injuries? Hmm? C’mon, this is Lost. It’s totally possible, and you know it.

• Fascinating juxtaposition between Desmond killing Locke (I’m not 100 percent sure if Locke is dead) off-island and Flocke tossing Des down the well on-island. I didn’t get what Des was going to do until he started his car. But I knew that Flocke was gonna toss him down the well. I kept hoping I was wrong, but… However, I know, even without seeing “next week on” that Desmond’s still alive. He did what he did because he knows how things have to be. He wouldn’t have gone with Flocke to the well if he didn’t know how it was going to turn out. I truly believe that.

• Sayid totally gives me the creeps. What role does he have left to play? I wonder if we’ll see Shannon off-island and she’ll bring all the memories flooding back for him? I hope. I have always loved Sayid’s character and would be so sad to see him remain this shell of himself.

• Dr. Chang! Did you not jump out of your chair when you saw him introducing Hurley? I love all these little things they’re doing to bring back all the characters, major and minor, we’ve seen over the past several years. Of course, he’s Miles’ father, and this is the hospital where Charlotte works. I feel the tension building toward a resolution and I’m both terribly excited and terribly sad to see it all coming to an end.

• Remember, I called it: Jack becomes the new Jacob.

• By the way, why is Hugo’s nickname Hurley?

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Let me start off by saying that if Team Darlton does NOT end Lost with Desmond and Penny together, I will riot. I will grab a folding chair and smash it through something and encourage everyone around me to do the same.

Just sayin’.

I’ve said that from the start of this season, particularly after seeing Des on the plane next to Jack and no Penny in sight and Penny being on Flash Forward and all. But last night gave me hope that Lindelof & Cuse may have recognized that they could wrap up the show in almost any way they want, but DON’T FRAK WITH DESMOND AND PENNY.

So what more could a girl have possibly wanted than last night’s episode? I didn’t think it would be possible for this show to get better, but it did. As the Bad Robot sig came on the screen, I put my hand to my chest and said, simply, “That was SO good.”

And because this episode was about Desmond, everything began bleeding together and I don’t even have to separate the off-island and on-island action.

An interesting thing I noticed last night, though, was that although I knew – just knew – that Desmond’s boss would be Widmore, Widmore’s wife would be Eloise and their son would be Faraday, it didn’t spoil a thing for me. One of the things I’ve always loved about Lost is that I’ve been almost incapable of guessing who someone was before they showed the person. They’re just that good.

But given that it was Desmond, it made perfect sense that he’d be working for Widmore. And Eloise and Daniel were, after all, his actual wife and son, so those were not much of a stretch.

So what did we learn last night? So very much.

This off-island action is, indeed, the result of Juliet setting off the bomb. It did indeed work. In a way. The action split off from the original timeline. It exists not in place of the original timeline, but alongside it. If that were not the case, the two timelines could not bleed together as they have for Charlie, Desmond and Daniel.

And, of course, the key to the bleed-through is love. Pure, deep, beautiful. Love that transcends the bounds of time, space and parallel dimensions. Charlie will always love Claire. Desmond will always love Penny. Daniel will always love Charlotte. Perhaps Jin and Sun will see the bleed-through when Sun’s life is on the line – she was shot, remember? And who will spark the bleed-through for Kate? Sawyer or Jack?

The problem is, Charlie and Daniel are dead in the original timeline. So they’re not there to feel the bleed-through from the other side. Desmond is the only one of the three who’s still alive.

So riddle me this: How does Eloise know what’s up? And does Widmore? Being that he’s from the island (please let us get a Widmore-centric episode??????), it’s quite possible. Probable, in fact. But we only know that Eloise knows for sure. Perhaps he sent Desmond to tell her the news about Charlie specifically because he wanted Eloise to determine if he were “ready” yet to merge the two timelines?

Aha! Is that what he needs to be ready to do? To merge? Eloise said he wasn’t “ready” yet – ready for what? He’s ready back in our original timeline. I think he is so accepting of what he has to do and the potential sacrifice he needs to make because he knows that no matter what, no matter how time and reality separates them, he and Penny WILL make their way back to one another.

Penny, remember, is Desmond’s constant (another one of the best episodes ever of this show). And Desmond is Daniel’s constant, which is why Daniel sought him out. Daniel doesn’t know that Des is his constant (though that’s what I thought he was going to show Desmond in his journal), but on some level, he must.

I have to say, the episode didn’t answer any questions at all about what the island is or who Jacob and the MiB are, but it doesn’t matter. It addressed so many other things on so many levels.

The reason all our Losties are encountering one another in the alternate timeline is because, just as they were in the original, they were meant to come together. They were meant to save the world. And each other.

I still can’t help but wonder, as I always do, where fate ends and free will begins. Desmond tells Charlie, “You always have a choice.” But their actions last night seem to belie that.

Are we all thrust along a path in our lives that may meander and take different routes but still arrive at the same destination?

Remember, no matter what Charlie did in the original timeline, he was destined to die. And he did. But he did it saving others. He did it out of love.

In our alternate timeline, Charlie isn’t in danger of being killed; he just continually takes risks that would result in his being killed, in hopes of a glimpse of this other reality where the love of his life is his. He did it for love.

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