Yep, it’s official: Freddie Prinze Jr. will be a Jack wanna-be on Day 8.

He’ll play “Davis Cole, a U.S. Marine who wants to follow in the footsteps” of our man Jack.

Guess what happened to the last guys who tried to be the next Jack:

• Day 3: Chase Edmunds: Dated Kim Bauer. Secretly had a child from a previous relationship. Nearly got shot in the head by Jack, who was trying to prove himself to the Salazars. Jack cut off his hand to remove a vial of a nasty flesh-eating virus. We last saw him being wheeled into the ER, hoping he could get his hand back. At the start of Day 4, we were told he had taken a job with some private consulting firm and was living with Kim. Status: No hand, no girl, no Jack.

• Day 6: Mike Doyle: Replaces the just-killed Curtis Morgan as Director of Field Ops. Something happened in Denver, and Milo’s pissed off about it. Hottie Nadia Yassir has to decide between the two of them, for some reason. A bomb blows up in Doyle’s face just before the day ends. Status: No sight.

The good news? The actor best known for being the son of Chico and his own roles in “I Know What You Did Last Summer,” “She’s All That” and “Scooby-Doo” probably has the life expectancy of a mayfly.

Photo by David Shankbone, Creative Commons

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Honestly, it’s hard to get too excited about an episode that was so obviously filler and in which so little happened.

I mean, what does it say when Kiefer Sutherland headbutting a fashion designer on the streets of Manhattan in defense (kinda sorta) of Brooke Shields is almost more interesting than the Monday episode (for the definitive story on this, see Point / Counterpoint)? Especially when there are only three hours left in this day and we still have no idea what the frak is going on.

I guess that’s why I never really got around to a separate blog post on it this week and decided to wait for the weekly blog carnival, which I am always happy to host.

Basically, this is what happened this week:

Tony and Red Not forced the Token Muslim guy to pretend he’s a jihadist so they could blame their bad behavior on “those people.” Thing is, this guy was basically the least enthusiastic jihadist EVAR. Seriously, folks, if anyone in the intelligence (or intelligent) community actually believed this video, that this man who had nothing on his record and just got a bunch of money wired to him minutes before the video was shot (ahem, Chloe had that figured out before Jack even got to the guy’s house, for goodness sakes!) and was SO unenthusiastic about his jihad against the bad Americans, they need a vacation. Now. He couldn’t even convince his brother.

Olivia turned from hard-nosed Bitch to whiny little beyotch after nothing more than a car bomb. And, by the way, the car bomb was a little obvious, guys. Adam from The Jack Sack publicly called it before it happened and on 24, whenever someone is left alone in a car for “just a minute” while the other person goes about 200 yards away to “sign him out,”  you can pretty well bet the car’s going to blow up. And Olivia, SHUT UP! Stop whining girl, you got what you wanted. And it’s a pretty good bet you’ll be caught, even if this was independent of your shenanigans, so I hope you enjoy sullying your mother’s good name. (Kudos to Sprague Grayden, by the way, who is obviously a good actress, being able to play such an unlikeable character after being such a likeable character on Jericho!)

The first husband came home to the White House, the best villain in quite some time bit the dust, Jack apologized to Chloe for not telling her he had mad cow (frankly, Mary Lynn and Kiefer both did an excellent job on that scene) and at the liveblog we said “Mooooo” a lot.

And before Jonas went “boom,” he was renamed Robert Tippet and learned he would have to live next door to Steve Martin doing a mobster impression for the rest of his life. That’s when he put out the contract on his own life.

The main question left, besides WTF is wrong with Tony?, is who the last mole is. The fanbase is rooting for Janis Gold. Don’t disappoint us, Howard.

OK, so to the carnival:

Steve gives us his usually detailed recap, Season 7 – 24 – 4 am to 5 am, posted at Magic Lamp. It’s full of Web 2.0 jokes and made me giggle more than once.

Colin Timberlake gave us Underappreciated Actors: Michael Massee, posted at colintimberlake.com. Anyone who could plot to kidnap Jack’s wife, even at the bidding of Victor Drazen, has a titanium-coated pair.

King Tom wrote Of Patsies, Overachieving Hitmen and a Wasted Supervillain, posted at King Tom’s Kingdom, bemoaning the lack of action this season and the loss of a great Jonas-in-witness protection spinoff, which would have been 24‘s first spinoff in seven seasons.

And Adam gave us multiple posts to peruse at The Jack Sack, including his 4 a.m. to  a.m. Quick Review and his Star Trek Movie Review – love the art on that. You also have to check out his co-produced (with the folks at AlmeidaisGod[dot]com) – “Almeida” music video.

That concludes this edition of the Carnival of Bauer!!!. Submit your blog article to the next edition of Carnival of Bauer!!! using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Want to host a future edition of the carnival? Say so in the comments and mention your favorite Jack Bauer kill.
Link to B4B’s Point/Counter

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As I live-blogged tonight on Blogs4Bauer with my crazy boy friends, I anxiously awaited the “slap scene,” as we called it. We even got one false alarm, then, WHAMMO!

Do I even need to say there are spoilers ahead?

So, since the episode made us wait for the slap scene, I’ll make you wait for my discussion of it.

First off, there’s been discussion on B4B and on Twitter as to whether this was the best ep so far this season or just the best ep ever.

I think the latter may be hyperbole, but if so, not by much. Seeing as Season 7 is shaping up to be awesome on the level of Seasons 2 & 5 (my two faves), seeing as this is the best ep so far makes it definitely up there in the pantheon of awesomeness.

So let me ask this: Does Marika’s death count in Jack’s killcount, seeing as he’s basically responsible for her death? I vote yes.

I honestly believe that Red Hot would have pulled the trigger on Jack if she’d had to, not that it would have actually killed him. Badder folks have tried to kill Jack and failed, after all.

This is what happened tonight:

• Chewbacca is on his deathbed, but Jack cut the chip out of his abdomen before he meets his maker.

• Marika, whom Chewbacca appears to have actually loved, died and Red Hot totally blames him for that.

• No one can maneuver a Ford through D.C. traffic like Jack Bauer.

• The President and her daughter have a very troubled relationship. And the president’s gonna regret going back to the White House.

• Tony knows more than he’s letting on.

• Red Hot’s the first person to slap Jack in the face in eons and live. If she does it again, I’m thinking … maybe not so lucky.

• Queens Boulevard is a much slimier guy than I ever gave him credit for. His blonde girlfriend is both smarter (who would have guessed that she was capable of crashing the entire FBI mainframe?) and dumber (c’mon, woman, the guy says he loves you and suddenly you’re all gooey?) than I’d given her credit/blamed her for.

• Chloe is THE BOMB. Seriously, no one else on this planet could have held onto that data. I love her. Even though she looked constipated. She was extremely pregnant when these episodes were filmed, though, so that probably affected her mood somewhat.

• Larry is still a lame-o. This is 24, folks. Someone invokes his constitutional rights and that’s the end of the conversation? Queens Boulevard asks to speak to his attorney, you tell him this, “I’ve got your attorney here. His name is Jack Bauer.”

And the slap.

First, verbal: Red Hot invokes Teri Bauer. You could see Jack flinch. That hurt more than the physical slaps, which barely affected Jack. He even felt badly for Red Hot. She’s not used to collateral damage.

The whole point of 24 is that Jack absolutely feels every death. He feels every death he’s ever caused. But he feels them later. He can’t react to them when they happen; he doesn’t have the luxury. He needs to do what he needs to do, to keep this country safe.

Now the President is going to argue on his behalf, with the Senator who doesn’t care that Jack had reasons to do what he needed to do.

And that Senator’s assistant is gonna try not to die, hmmmm?

Next week’s a TWO HOUR EPIC. I am quite excited. I’ll be live blogging with the boys over at Blogs4Bauer, naturally.

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Just a reminder: I’ll be liveblogging 24 with my Blogs4Bauer buddies tomorrow night. Be there or be a rhombus.

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Head on over to Blogs4Bauer for tonight’s liveblog. I’m there now. I’ll recap the first four hours all together after that.

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OK, so the liveblog over at B4B was a bit wacky, shockingly, but I have this to say:

Jack is back.

He’s totally shocked at Tony’s betrayal of the people who have no subpoenaed him and are trying him for crimes against humanity.

Wait, what?

OK. Lemme ponder all this and get back to you tomorrow. I’ll be liveblogging again at B4B tomorrow night for the second two hours of the season premiere.

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Join us over at Blogs4Bauer for tonight’s liveblog!

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