‘Hawaii Five-0′ Morphs into ‘Hawaii Two-4′

October 13th, 2010 | by | cbs, hawaii five-o, jack bauer, tv shows

Oct
13

By Stu Robinson,

The first three episodes of CBS’ new Hawaii Five-O left me optimistic about the direction the show was going. Then Episode 4 aired Monday, delivering a lot of stuff that I never saw coming.

For a couple of weeks, now, I’ve urged Hawaii Five-O viewers “not to sweat the details. … Just sit back and enjoy the fast-paced stories, attractive visuals and snappy dialogue.” But it’s a slippery slope from there to total implausibility, and Episode 4 skied all the way down.

The show’s writers abandoned many of the developing plot lines to cast Steve McGarrett as Jack Bauer in their version of “Hawaii Two-4.” From the violent jailbreak in the opening sequence, the metaphorical clock is ticking as McGarrett and crew try to catch up with the escapee, who is adding to his body count by the minute.

What’s behind the rampage? There is no time for exposition, so don’t think you’re going to answer that question on your own. The villain just growls and shoots people, until Five-O puts the magic pieces together so that McGarrett/Bauer can put a few bullets into the bad guy, sending him (literally) down a slippery slope to death.

Hardly anything in Episode 4 was even remotely plausible:

  • A hardened inmate (D.L. Hughley in the series’ first celebrity cameo) talks after McGarrett beats him one-on-one on a basketball court in the prison yard.
  • A guard who abetted the escape in which several of his colleagues were killed talks after about 20 seconds of questioning.
  • The escapee’s girlfriend rats him out at the mere threat of losing her lucrative job waitressing in a diner.
  • And the coup de grace – after losing the suspect during a pursuit, McGarret whips out his cell phone, connects to a gorgeous female naval officer on an aircraft carrier in the Persian Gulf and persuades her to locate the bad guy using a military satellite.

Which brings us to the repartee du jour:

Chin Ho: “You got her to use a military recon satellite, and then you made a date?”

McGarrett: “I’m a multitasker.”

Chin Ho: “Impressive.”

The female officer, who looked to be in close quarters with McGarrett in the scenes from next week, wasn’t the only thing I didn’t see coming. With the Five-O team in hot pursuit the whole episode, the show’s ongoing daddy issues had to be shouldered by Steve’s sister, Mary Ann McGarrett.

Say what? Yes. Out of nowhere, McGarrett has a sister. Not quite nowhere, actually: the airport security office, where she ended up after messing with the restroom smoke detector on her flight to the islands. Sis appears to have issues that extend well beyond Papa McGarrett.

It will be interesting to see where this subplot is going. Could there be a romantic triangle involving Danno, who in earlier episodes seemed interested in Kono?

Some other notes that washed over my transom:

  • On the product-placement front, McGarrett’s muscular Camaro was AWOL, replaced by a big Chevy truck.
  • A Hawaiian Airlines ad has run in each episode so far.
  • Hawaii Five-O‘s ratings are getting a boost from viewers using DVRs.
  • The University of Maryland’s marching band won a CBS contest to perform the show’s boffo theme song with its performance at the Maryland-Navy football game Sept. 6.

To me, Episode 4 messed up the vibe the series was developing in the first three episodes. It was a shock to the system, leaving me to wonder where the writers will go next.

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Stu Robinson, a college friend of the TV Tyrant, is a writer, editor, media-relations specialist and social-media guy based in Phoenix.

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Revamping the Tyrant

June 29th, 2010 | by | 24, battlestar galactica, canceled, eureka, jack bauer, lost, science fiction, season finale, series finale, supernatural, warehouse 13

Jun
29

You probably noticed the site looks a little different today. I just upgraded to WordPress 3.0 and upgraded my theme and decided I wanted to get away from the old snow in the background I used to have, as it was rather harsh on the eyes anyway. I haven’t decided what background to go with yet, but it made no sense to reinstall that old background.

I’m not fond of this neon orange, so don’t worry – it’s not here to stay. :-)

I’ve been rather lax in updating the blog in the past month, as you’ve likely noticed.

The end of two of my all-time favorite shows – Lost and 24 – left me unsure about what I wanted to blog on next. June is a pretty crappy month for TV anymore and though I love Burn Notice and In Plain Sight, I just don’t have a lot to talk about. I’d gotten so used to the analysis of Lost and Battlestar and the mocking of or cheering on for 24 that I don’t really want to go back to the recap route.

Fortunately, Warehouse 13 and Eureka start up soon, and I think both will provide plenty of fodder for good TVT posts.

Erika is hiding in a corner, crying out of sheer joy that there will be more Jensen Ackles next season. Seriously, though, I didn’t think they could get another decent season out of Supernatural after the apocalypse this season, but that final scene last month convinced me otherwise.

I’m also watching some stuff via Netflix, so I might start blogging about that. And I still have Season 2 of Torchwood to plow through. But I don’t want TVT to become an archival TV blog. Or, wait – that might be kinda cool.

Anyway, as you can see, I’m trying to figure out the direction to go in. I love TV (well, certain TV shows anyhow) and I do enjoy writing about it. I appreciate all the discussions and comments and everything we’ve had here, and they will continue, I promise.

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24: The President Smarm vortex

April 29th, 2010 | by | 24, fox, jack bauer, jericho, tv shows

Apr
29

So, I wasn’t gonna write about 24 this week. Not because of anything with the show, but because I have been cranky, distracted and have got a to-do list a mile long before I move next week. But you what? 24 is almost over, and how many chances will I get to write about one of my favorite all time shows? So here we go with hour 10am – 11am.

I hate to nitpick the show, but those helicopters got in the air and caught up to Jack pretty fast, eh? I do love how Jack steals a heli just to fly over the river and land on a building in Manhattan. Shortest.hijack.ever.

I was worried that Chloe being in charge would put a wedge between her and Jack, and I am fairly desperate to see that friendship continue, seeing that Jack has almost no one to trust anymore. I was sure, for drama’s sake, they would have Jack be betrayed by her. Thank goodness they played it like they did, with Jack being wise to the trap, and not blaming her for doing her job.

Chloe is doing her job well, even though she still used a little of her tech-fu to get the location of the actual safehouse off of DB Sweeney’s phone so Cole had the info for later. (Hi DB!! I see playing an evil head of a private security firm on Jericho has stuck with you, even though on 24 you had a mustache instead of a goatee).

So Jack does what he does best, takes down a bunch of highly trained agents, and easily convinces Cole to go with him to expose the Russians and get Dana and whatever. Good. I wanted this whole season to be Jack and Cole together, a la Jack and Chase in the virus season. I will take them together for the last few hours.

The most unusual thing for me this episode, is my interest in what was going on with the Presidents Taylor and Logan. For me, the White House portion of the show has always been the weakest and/or most annoying bits. But put together Cherry Jones and Greg Itzin, and we get TV gold. Logan is one of the best characters ever on this show, and to have him back to his evilly goodness, and bending and warping a President who has such strong convictions is great fun to watch. Totally tragic to see it happen to her, and it is gonna get messy, and we may have lost our lovely and awesome Ethan in the process, but I can’t wait to see what they do with all of it. Cherry is totally earning that Emmy she won last year.

Michael Madsen showed up this week, perfectly cast too, as a shady, old friend of Jack. I am guessing he won’t be the last of the fun guest casting for the last few episodes.

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24: Always been a fan of recycling

April 21st, 2010 | by | 24, fox, jack bauer, tv shows

Apr
21

Listen, I hear all of you, I do, retread, recycled, done to death, here we go again… but you know what, I still like it. I just can’t help myself. Jack goes off all cocksure and angry, it just gets me every.single.time.

So, along with the expected move of Jack stealing the helicopter (from his biggest fan, no less!), we got one of my favorite pairings in the history of 24. Cherry Jones and Gregory Itzin ruled every moment of their scenes together, and mad props to Bob Gunton for holding his own as the’ Good’ shoulder angel. It was interesting to see a character as idealistic as President Taylor be vulnerable to the brilliant smarmy-ness of President Logan. It was delicious to watch.

I know this may make me a bad person, but watching Jack smack Dana around was satisfying, as I wanted to do that to her for most of the season. Also, not only was she a bad spy, but she sucks at holding immunity too. Everyone gets immunity on this show! Poor, dumb, Dana.

While I was excited that Chloe was given temporary rein of CTU, I did wonder if her and her personality disorder could handle it. I thought she jumped right in and did great. I just hope it doesn’t end in another one of Jack’s BFFs having to break up with him.

All in all, even with a rickety Russian conspiracy plot bolstering the story, I am excited for the last few episodes… ever!

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24: Well, that sucks.

April 13th, 2010 | by | 24, jack bauer, tv shows

Apr
13

Yes, terrible, awful things happened tonight on 24. If you haven’t seen it yet, be advised that this post is FULL OF SPOILERS!! STOP NOW IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET!.

The Happily Ever After we all wanted...

Another heart-breaker people! I haven’t been that upset over someone’s death on 24 since Tony. But you know what? Thank god 24 has some balls once again. I was happy to have Tony back last season, for my own selfish hormonal reasons, but they just hacked at his character. The writers keep a beloved character around too long, and they degrade exponentially. The only exception being Jack and Chloe, in my opinion. Remember how awesome Nina Meyers was, until she wasn’t? Martha Logan was great, until she really, crazily wasn’t. I would rather Renee go out in a way that gives me the vengeful, driven Jack that I love.

Does Jack deserve that kind of heartache? No one does, really, but this show is based on despair. I spent season one hoping that Jack would prevail, only to be devastated by watching his wife, the mother of his child, die in his arms. Wouldn’t a happy ending be an affront to that premise? Besides, who says romantic love is the only happy ending? Jack finally has a good relationship with his daughter Kim, and an adorable grand daughter, Teri’s namesake, to bring him joy. Why isn’t that enough, at least for now?

I admit my gooey heart was rooting for a happy Jack and Renee ending, but I give the writers mad props for being brave again. Offing Hassan last week, and wrenching Jack’s heart this week, gives me some serious drama and revenge to look forward to, and that excites me.

Plus, the extra added bonus of Chloe finally, finally! getting to run CTU, as it should be.

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Jack’s back, baby!

January 17th, 2010 | by | 24, jack bauer, season premiere

Jan
17

Tonight’s start to the two-night, four-hour season premiere is a bit different from the usual: It’s two hours, but it doesn’t start until 9 p.m.

As my buddy Adam over at The Jack Sack commented, there are some little old ladies who are in for a nasty surprise tonight when they turn on Channel 5 (New York) and discover that, instead of that nice Ernie Anastos (or whoever they have on Sundays), Jack’s throttling some terrorist.

Wonder how many calls they’ll get.

Meanwhile, we’re going to be liveblogging over at Blogs4Bauer, so join us there!

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24, Lost – the most addictive shows of all time

July 23rd, 2009 | by | 24, battlestar galactica, csi, doctor who, friends, heroes, jack bauer, lost, prison break, sex and the city, the sopranos, the wire

Jul
23

Confirming what most TV hounds already knew, 24 and Lost topped the list of LoveFilm.com’s most addictive television shows of all time.

Now, some might say that Lost is more addictive, and I can see that point to a degree. After all, 24 and Lost are my two favorite shows, now that Battlestar Galactica‘s off the air (still looking forward to The Plan this fall, though!)

picture-11Lost banner

But where Lost is addictive for that hugely mystifying secret that lies beneath it all, carrying its fans from season to season, with the promise of wrapping it all up next year, 24 is more or less a big blast of televised heroin (a drug that, coincidentally, Jack Bauer was addicted to briefly in Season 3). No matter how much you tell yourself you’re going to stop watching, you just have to check it out one more time, just one more time. (See also: Lays Potato Chips.)

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24: What happened to the last guys who tried to be like Jack

May 28th, 2009 | by | 24, jack bauer, liveblog, tv shows

May
28

Yep, it’s official: Freddie Prinze Jr. will be a Jack wanna-be on Day 8.

He’ll play “Davis Cole, a U.S. Marine who wants to follow in the footsteps” of our man Jack.freddie_prinze_jr_by_david_shankbone

Guess what happened to the last guys who tried to be the next Jack:

Day 3: Chase Edmunds: Dated Kim Bauer. Secretly had a child from a previous relationship. Nearly got shot in the head by Jack, who was trying to prove himself to the Salazars. Jack cut off his hand to remove a vial of a nasty flesh-eating virus. We last saw him being wheeled into the ER, hoping he could get his hand back. At the start of Day 4, we were told he had taken a job with some private consulting firm and was living with Kim. Status: No hand, no girl, no Jack.

Days 4-6: Curtis Manning: Poor Curtis. He starts Day 4 as the Chief of Staff of CTU Los Angeles. Day 5, he’s promoted to Director of Field Operations (Field Ops, as we say in the biz). In the first hours of Day 6, he’s shot and killed by Jack, because Jack’s trying to protect a former terrorist gone good who was responsible for the death of some of the members of Curtis’ Special Forces Unit after Desert Storm. In between, he’s knocked out by Jack at least twice and handcuffed at least once. Status: No life.

Day 6: Mike Doyle: Replaces the just-killed Curtis Morgan as Director of Field Ops. Something happened in Denver, and Milo’s pissed off about it. Hottie Nadia Yassir has to decide between the two of them, for some reason. A bomb blows up in Doyle’s face just before the day ends. Status: No sight.

The good news? The actor best known for being the son of Chico and his own roles in “I Know What You Did Last Summer,” “She’s All That” and “Scooby-Doo” probably has the life expectancy of a mayfly.

Photo by David Shankbone, Creative Commons

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