TV Tyrant

24: Jack has a moozure

May 1st, 2009 | by | 24

May
01

I don’t know why I’ve had a hard time this week writing about 24.

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I think it’s a combination of factors:

Tony is so utterly bad (unless he’s not) – boo! Chloe’s back – yay! Jack’s dying – boo! Jack went off on Janis Gold (otherwise known as Grimace, in some circles) – yay! Larry’s still dead – sorry, best I can do is neutral on that one. I only liked him for about 5 minutes before he was killed.

I can’t believe that Jack is going to die, and I assume that Kim is giving blood or spinal fluid or stem cells or whatever it is that she needs to donate in order to save Daddy, despite what he said. At least she’s no longer with Pony Boy.

Jack cannot die from mad cow. There’s another season to go.

There’s still a chance Tony might still be good, but I doubt it.

Chloe is totally Chloe, which makes me happy. But I also hate Mary Lynn Rajskub for looking that good so soon after having a baby.

Janis must be stopped. I don’t think she’s the mole, though. Unfortunately. It would be really sweet if she were.

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24: The truth about Tony

April 21st, 2009 | by | 24, tony almeida

Apr
21

Didn’t watch? Don’t read. That’s all I’m gonna say.

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They could not have made Tony look any more suspicious last night if they’d said to him, “Hey, Carlos, make Tony look really suspicious tonight.” Actually, that’s probably what they did.

Thing is, Tony knows that if anyone could sniff out his duplicity, it’s Jack. And he also knows that the only way to stop Jack once he knows what you’re up to is to kill him.

Which makes me think that maybe Tony isn’t truly Darth Zombie Tony Almeida, but merely Zombie Tony Almeida, double agent.

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The Carnival of Bauer!!! The Kim & Tony Edition

April 17th, 2009 | by | 24, blog carnival, carnival of bauer

Apr
17

When I volunteered to do this week’s Carnival of Bauer!!! I didn’t realize I’d not only be the lucky one to host a carnival about the (brief) return of Kim Bauer, but also the (possible) turn to the dark side of Darth Zombie Tony Almeida.

But I’m the luckiest girl in the world, as we all know (I am, after all, the only full-fledged female member of Blogs4Bauer). And so, I am hosting a fabulous carnival.

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And now, the carnival:

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24: What?

April 13th, 2009 | by | 24

Apr
13

I almost don’t know what to say.

OK, I know one thing to say: If you haven’t watched tonight’s episode of 24 yet, stop reading NOW. NOWWWWWWW.

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Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

In fact, tonight’s episode was so frakkin’ unbelievable that I’m not going to write ANOTHER WORD before the jump in case someone isn’t listening to me.

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24: Moooooooo

April 10th, 2009 | by | 24

Apr
10

It’s almost like a drinking game: Every time Jack exhibits mad cow-type symptoms, you have to go “moooooooo.”

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What’s that you say? Jack doesn’t have mad cow disease? Oh, whatever. Close enough. He has some sort of weird unknown, unnamed disease brought on by some sort of biological agent created for the strongman of a pretend African nation. So if we want to pretend it’s mad cow, leave us be.

The best part of Monday’s episode:

Death by decanter. When Jon Voight killed Chris Cooper with a decanter, that almost topped Jack using a forklift to kill someone the week before. Day 7 has totally turned on the creativity when it comes to killing this season, and I, for one, am quite grateful. Shooting someone in the knee is so Day 2.

The worst part:

Olivia Taylor doing a reverse blackmail of the slimy reporter. In and of itself, it wasn’t bad. In fact, it was good that she managed to blackmail him back, when he forced her to sleep with him to keep a story secret, when he had no intention of holding back the story. But the whole idea of him using sex as a weapon and then her recording it was just so … icky.

So at this point, we still have no idea who the mole is, Jack’s had a seizure from mad cow, Jonas Hodges has officially become the best villain since Nina Meyers and Tony’s as badass as ever (how many bad guys did he take out?)…

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24: Jack’s been exposed

April 3rd, 2009 | by | 24

Apr
03

First off, I have to say that Adam over at The Jack Sack summed up Monday’s episode perfectly, in this video.

I’ll wait here while you watch …

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hahahahaha. OK, that was the 24 blog equivalent of a RickRoll, except that it’s totally worth watching.

So what happened?

Jack was exposed, but the level of exposure seems unclear to me. It doesn’t seem he can infect anyone else, as he’s running around in the FBI hq and no one’s running screaming from him, so that’s a good sign, no?

Larry Moss, however, should have allowed Jack to go along with them – even an impaired Jack is worth at least a half-dozen regular, unimpaired agents.

Speaking of the raid, what a freakin’ disaster that was. Tony got pwnd by Mr. Smarmy Suit Guy, who tricked him into believing he was breaking from Hodges. So, all bureaucratic-like, the FBI used a warrant that specifically detailed the exact wrong area of the Starkwood compound and knew that the FBI would be too law-abiding to push through the Starkwood mercernary force.

Dude, Tony, you didn’t used to be so easy to manipulate.

As for Olivia, I’m still not sure if she’s the mole. Her reaction to the news about Starkwood seemed … curious. But 24′s producers have thrown us red herrings like that before. If she is a mole, however, Aaron will definitely find her out. He’s almost as badass as Jack.

Almost.

Still undecided on Janis’ mole status.

I’m trying to figure out Red Hot’s issue, though. She seems all upset about Larry, about Jack, about everything. Does she feel responsible that Jack has been exposed? Does she feel badly because Larry’s in love with her but she’s falling for Jack? Curious. She seemed so … damaged. (Don’t worry; I don’t think she’s a mole.)

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24: Whack-a-mole

March 19th, 2009 | by | 24

Mar
19

The big debate Monday night on Blogs4Bauer’s liveblog of Hour 14 was the status of moles.

Right now, it seems as if there are so many moles in the White House, the Rose Garden should collapse in on itself.

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Let’s look at the candidates, shall we?

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The Carnival of Bauer!!! The Bill Buchanan Memorial edition

March 13th, 2009 | by | 24, blog carnival, carnival of bauer, jack bauer

Mar
13

All across 24 fandom, people remain in mourning for a man we once disliked but came to love almost as much as Jack and Tony.

Call him a mime. Call him Chiggy Killer. Call him Billy Boy. Whatever you want to call him, do it with the flag at half-mast and hat over heart.

First off, we have Jeff Kouba with not one, but TWO glorious posts at Truth v. The Machine. In 24 Day 7 8:00 PM – 9:00 PM he recaps the hour, including the secret love Bill harbored for Chloe. And my favorite sentence of the Carnivals so far: “In the subsequent chaos, approximately 28 of the remaining 4 Africans are gunned down.” Then, he confesses he actually watches Dollhouse and noticed a horrible secret connecting it to 24, in It would explain a lot.

Adam gets all mystical and ponders who or what Bill might come back as if he were reincarnated, in 24 Season 7: Bill Buchanan, Reincarnated? posted at The Jack Sack™.
Note to Adam: We all know why you offered up No. 4. Have you come out of your Scotch bath yet?

King Tom presents Ode To Bill posted at King Tom’s Kingdom and includes my favorite James Morrison (the actor, not the dead musician) photo ever: The New York Yoga magazine cover with Morrison on the cover. He’s a yoga master, after all. Tom also reminds us that he had a relationship with Michelle Dessler, yet still bore no ill will toward Tony.

Tom Harris, a British MP (minister of Parliament), is only up to Season 4, but he offers up how his son asked, “Does Superman wear Jack Bauer pyjamas?” (That’s how those wacky Brits spell pajamas) in his personal blog, And Another Thing… and offers up this quite accurate statement: “Jack Bauer is the man every man wants to be like but is also really, really scared of.”

Blogs4Bauer’s very own V the K handled this week’s TiVo blogging duties, deftly weaving comedy (igniting Jack’s farts to kill the terrorists) with the tragedy of Bill’s death (Jack comes perilously close to showing an emotion). It is, of course, over at Blogs4Bauer.

Then there’s the now-cliché, but always amusing, Jack Bauer vs. Chuck Norris posted at 944.com.  We’ve been through this before. Jack shoots Chuck before Chuck even thinks about doing a flying crane leap or whatever it is he does.

And, finally, here’s a matchup we haven’t seen before: Jack Bauer vs. Candyman posted at Digital Spy. They chose the horror film monster because the actor who played Gen. Juma also played Candyman. (I’ve only said it twice now, and I’m not in front of a mirror, don’t worry.) Given that the C-man is already dead and has a swarm of bees at his disposal, this isn’t your ordinary matchup. Nice.

That concludes this edition of The Carnival of Bauer!!!. Submit your blog article to the next edition of carnival of bauer!!! using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Want to host a future edition of the carnival? Say so in the comments and mention your favorite Jack Bauer kill.

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24: Hour 13

March 11th, 2009 | by | 24

Mar
11

I’m still sad that Bill Buchanan died, even though I predicted it (well, him or Aaron) in my post last week.

Here’s a link to a screenshot of the … moment … sent in to Blogs4Bauer.

And here’s the official B4B tribute photo:

I, like many 24 fans, was not particularly fond of Bill Buchanan when he made his first appearance in Season 4. Back then, he was a suit and he didn’t immediately believe Jack. Remember? Of course, by the end of the season, he was a convert and even got detained for a period of time.

One of the best quotes ever on 24 came that season, from Bill to Chloe:

Chloe, we’re in an active code. We don’t have time for your personality disorder, you understand me?

And then, in Season 5, to Miles Papazian:

You have no idea what you’re dealing with, you little ass kisser.

And then, in Season 6:

We have to do better than we’re doing, and we have to to it faster!

And then he even managed to get Karen over from the dark side (though only temporary, as she fired him to save her own ass, but that was Season 6, which was totally craptastic anyhow). And even though he dressed like a mime who needed to shave this season, he built an awesome CTU in exile in a pretty funky old abandoned building.

He even pulled Tony back from being a bad guy.

And who can forget one of the few shining moments of Season 6 when Jack HANDED BILL HIS VERY OWN SACK?

Look, Adam over at The Jack Sack has been doing the best tributes to Bill for the past two days (be thankful, because if Aaron Pierce had been killed off, Adam would be wandering in the desert right now, and not because Passover’s almost here), so check it out.

Other than mourning Bill, I just wanted to make a few points about Monday’s ep:

• Awe.Some.

• The First Daughter is a be-yotch of the nth degree. She’s gonna be trouble. Or a mole. Or both.

• Ethan’s actually not too bad. This week.

• Larry Moss – still an idiot.

• Tony?

• Chloe?

• Jon Voight, finally. Now we’re on to the REAL plot of the season.

• President Taylor really pissed me off. I don’t know if I like her anymore.

• Apparently, Juma didn’t take a Berlitz class in English, because he thought “release” meant “kill,” so he killed a random hostage.

• Taylor’s veep may be the worst veep yet on 24. And that’s saying A LOT.

• Did he really think you could “turn off” the Internet? Oy.

Thanks to 24 Wiki for the BillB quotes.

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