It’s TLJBD, Dammit! Now tell me, WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?

Yes, it’s Jan. 14. And all fans of 24 know what that means:

It’s Talk Like Jack Bauer Day, otherwise known as TLJBD.

In case you missed the link to the FAQ yesterday, I’ll recap the basic behavioral points for the day:

• When you answer even the most simple requests, yell. Or whisper.
• Someone steals your lunch from the office fridge? Threaten family members.
• You’re always running out of time. Always. Going out for lunch? Someone in your group wants to run to the bathroom before leaving the office? WTF? The correct response would be: “There isn’t enough time!” (You may also say, “We’re running out of time!”) before punching someone out and grabbing your manpurse.
• Make sure you have a manpurse with you at all times. If you’re a woman, switch to a manpurse for the day. You may call this manpurse (sometimes known as a messenger bag) a “[your name here] Sack” (i.e., Jack sack, Bill sack).
• When your boss asks you to do something outside the usual parameters of your job respond, “I’m gonna need a hacksaw.”
• Use your cell phone instead of your office phone all day. Speak to no one on a land line. If people want to fax you something, tell them to send it to your phone/PDA/smartphone. (Your phone doesn’t accept faxes, e-mails or large files? Just pretend, it’s TLJBD, for heaven’s sake!)
• When you go to a meeting, start talking about the perimeter.
• Say “Dammit” every 7.6 seconds, at least.
• Someone couldn’t get his or her work done on time? Accuse that co-worker of being a mole. If the person denies it, threaten to call in Burke.

Need more TLJBD fun?

The Jack Sack
Blogs4Bauer
(more to come as the day goes on)

Bookmark It